Frak, Frel and Other "F" Words

X3 or Mediocrity Rules...

2006-05-27T21:54:00.000-07:00

So, I saw X-Men: The Last Stand today and, out of a 5-star rating, I give a whopping 3. And that's probably being generous. It wasn't that it's bad or anything, but after the awesome X2, I was monumentally disappointed at the squandered potential here. Sure, there were flashes of brilliance in there but the effects were uneven and the wirework terrible and the plot questionable.

It's worth seeing at least once. And then catching it on HBO or Showtime when you're bored and it's on.

Thus Ends Another Crappy Bauer Day...

2006-05-22T19:37:00.000-07:00

So, the finale of 24's season 5 aired tonight. For the most part, pretty good but I did have some problems with it. One glaring problem (to me, anyway) was resolution to the Christopher Henderson plot. I just can't buy that a super bad ass like him couldn't tell the difference between a loaded weapon or wouldn't double check to actually see if the weapon was loaded. That said, I rather liked Jack's little bit of revenge. I also had some minor gripes with the relative ease of taking Marine One - yeah, Jack's a bad ass and all, but come on...

I totally liked Chloe's ex-husband from just the brief moments with him. Hope he shows up again next season. And how fraking cool were those expressions on the faces of Mike Novak and Martha Logan when the Marshals & USSS guys basically told the President that he was under arrest? Much coolness involved..

Excellent cliffhanger. It'll be interesting to see how they dig themselves out of this hole next season. But don't these fools know that torture and abuse is just going to turn Jack into an even bigger bad ass?

Been a while...

2006-05-13T07:09:00.000-07:00

Amazing how one can totally forget to do something. It's been a while since I last updated this and I figured that I should go ahead and do so. So ... here's the update: not much has changed.

The season finale of Smallville was on Thursday and, once again, I'm astounded at how ... stupid this incarnation of Clark Kent is. Some of the stuff he does is just ... really, really fraking moronic and I still don't understand his obsession with Lana "Secrets and Lies" Lang. Unsurprisingly, I loved Chloe in this finale up until the cliffhanger ending where she decided to wander out of the Planet and into the riot-filled streets. Guess hanging around the Big Dumb Alien wore off a little on her ... or maybe he infected her with dumbness when she planted the huge liplock on him.

24 has been turning really predictable of late and, despite my best efforts otherwise, I've really been losing interest with this current storyline for some reason. I'll stick with it until the end in the hopes that it gets better...

Beyond that, not a fraking thing has changed. I'm not getting any writing done (words aren't clicking again) which pisses me off to no end and I simply have no idea why...

Able to jump the shark in a single bound!

2006-04-20T20:06:00.000-07:00

Wow. That was an astoundingly bad episode of Smallville. It was bad enough that they ripped off a crappy horror movie (Saw) but the sheer predictibility of this episode...ugh. Is it really that hard to write a good episode of this show?

I swear, if it wasn't for Allison Mack and the deranged pleasure I get from MST3K-ing this show, I would drop it like a hot potato. Please, of Lords of Television...make it BETTER! You already shafted me with that shit finale of Enterprise (for which I have yet to forgive you) and you continue to ... bless me with "reality" televions (for which I have also not forgiven you for). Please, in the name of all that is Just and Right, stop making this show suck!

So say we all...

What a Lazy Sod I am...

2006-04-16T10:13:00.000-07:00

Well, here it is Sunday and I've been back in OKC since Thursday and have yet to update this dang thing. Convention was fun - Connor Trinneer is freaking hilarious in person and I met a bunch of people I know online. The various plane trips all sucked in some way (delay going TO Cleveland; hard landing in Orlando; delay coming BACK to OKC).

CommJunkiee's wedding was easy although I did have to rib him about starting to get weepy and emotional during the reciting of vows ... something that Mrs. CommJunkiee did NOT do.

And I discovered (again) that I hate my job. Went in on Friday and it was just ... painful. Blech.

Not much happening beyond that...

Getting on a jet plane...

2006-04-05T17:43:00.000-07:00

So, tomorrow I go on vacation. I'm flying to Cleveland to a convention more for some people I know than the actual convention. After that, I fly down to Orlando for a friend's wedding. Yay. Monkey suit.

Congratulations to the guys behind 24. They actually surprised me with their reveal on Monday. That was not who I was expecting to be behind things. I halfway expected that Mike, the Chief of Staff would be the "bad guy". Congrats, guys!

Smallville ... or They Broke Up ... Again

2006-03-30T18:26:00.000-08:00

Despite staring out as perhaps one of the crappiest SV episodes I've seen, this most recent Smallville episode rallied in the second half and turned out to be decent. Brainiac ... uh ... Milton Fine is back and although I'm still having troubling adjusting to Spike's non-British accent, I've gotta say, I totally dig him.

And, although I'm trying to stay away from spoilers, it seems pretty clear that they're setting up Lex and Lana (Lexana) which will cause Superdope all sorts of angst. Rah.

I've been thinking. CTU needs to send Jack to Metropolis. Oh wait ... different channels. Dang.

I ask "So what"?

2006-03-29T20:05:00.000-08:00

Right, so today is my birthday. So what? What's the big deal about birthdays anyway? It's not like I've suddenly cured cancer because I'm a day older, or discovered the secret to world peace (Palpatine had the right idea...). It's just another day...

Caught the Sci-Fi miniseries Dark Kingdom last night. Turns out it was an interpretation of the Nibelungenlied cycle ... although why they couldn't just say so eludes me. It was pretty damned good but given Sci Fi gives us stuff like Mansquito, that's not saying much. I enjoyed it...

And now, I return you to your regularly scheduled life...

I Liked It!

2006-03-14T16:05:00.000-08:00

So, I caught the BSG season finale last night and, despite what one of my roommates said, I enjoyed the hell out of it. The radical shift in the status quo was great and I seriously cannot wait (7 fraking months! Ahhhh!) until the season premiere. "Fight until we can't."

24 was good if a little annoying. They killed off another main character and I'm a little pissed that the character in question didn't get the silent clock like the guy did in the previous episode. Boo! Hiss!

Life proceeds apace. Work sucks (hey, let's quadruple the workload, make it all due at the end of the month, and not upstaff.) But I am writing so that's a positive.

Beyond that, not much to report on the state of my existence. Rah.

State of Confusion

2006-03-04T22:36:00.001-08:00

So, what have I been doing since I last updated this dang thing? Frankly, not as much as I'd like.

I did upload a couple chapters of my latest fanfic, Endeavour: "Ragnarök". It's coming along fairly nicely but, once again, if you don't have a clue about ENT, you'll probably be lost.

The due date for that Blood and Devotion thing came and went. Try as I might (and Lord, did I try) I simply could not get the words to cooperate with me. I am going to go ahead and start planning on doing a submission (or two) for the Strange New Worlds competition that PocketBooks does every year. I figure that, since I've got Trek on the brain, I might as well try to get paid for it. Granted, I won't be able to play around in my little Alternate Universe (which is too bad 'cause it's cool), but I've got a pretty decent idea for a story. We'll see...

24 and BSG continue to kick ass. I missed Friday's BSG 'cause I was chatting with a friend online but I'll catch it on Monday.

Aside from that...blah...

Time flies...

2006-02-22T15:13:00.000-08:00

...when you're fraking bored. Dunno how this week slipped by without me really noticing it but...it did. Not much really interesting happened much - work stinks, I'm having problems getting sentences to cooperate (hence NO writing. Dammit.)

New roommate for a while I've relocated my computer into my bedroom...space is tight but I'm ctually liking the new set up a little bit and may actully leave it as it is when the temp roomie moves out again.

On the television front, both BSG & 24 rocked my socks off this week. I've been getting a little frustrated at some of the stuff they've been doing on BSG recently - the last couple of episodes were pretty generic and not that interesting - but last week's episode kicked all sorts of ass.

I'm thinking about writing up a no bullshit assessment of my life (specifically my likes, dislikes, disappointments, etc.) but I honestly doubt I'd post that thing up here since some things are a little too personal. I guess we'll see though...it's not like anyone actually reads this blog...

Another Week, Another...dime?

2006-02-10T15:40:00.000-08:00

Not much happening this week. Can't seem to get motivated to write - which is frustrating as hell. Not exactly sure what the frak my problem is but it's downright annoying.

24 was (as usual) fairly good. I'm still waiting for the abrupt story shift that we always get with this show. Jack had a great line while interrogating a guy who didn't wish to cooperate: "You don't want to go down that road with me," he told the guy and man, that's true.

Smallville was ... okay. For the most part, it was pretty blah although they get big points for an opening Chloe shower scene. I vote for more of those. Oh, and not a whole lot of Lana. Chloe was possessed by a ghost and nearly declared crazy; I wonder what exactly they told the doctors at the end that convinced them she wasn't crazy. It sure wasn't the truth.

Here's to hoping next week doesn't suck as much as this one did.

Congrats, Steelers

2006-02-05T19:49:00.000-08:00

Pretty decent game in my opinion. Only saw one really questionable call (the first Steeler TD) but given the rules on replay, the ref made the only call he could. The Seahawks looked really good and really bad, all at the same time. They sort of disintegrated in the last couple of minutes of the 4th quarter...

It just occurred to me that I forgot to review Smallville (and BSG which I caught on Friday). The Young Superboy Chronicles was ... I dunno, okay is the best thing I can come up with. The highpoints had to be (a) less Lana and (b) more Chloe, but the story was pretty much blah. The Krypto-freak was hot but jeez ... the product placement crap just about caused me to turn off the TV. It wasn't quite as bad as that Ford placement episode a while back where Lois was showing off her new car (ignoring the fact that she's driving a 20K car and works in a coffee shop in Kansas) ... talk about stupid.

BSG was pretty decent although I am getting tired of them showing the teaser and then jumping on with 72 Hours Earlier or 36 Hours Earlier or whatever. Enough already! I think I've officially decided that Apollo is my favorite character on there, despite being really fraked up. Starbuck has some serious issues and some of the stupid stuff she did kind of makes me dislike her a bit. I really don't like the new hotshot pilot, Kat.

Found out I have a reprieve on the writing contest; the cutoff date is now March 1 so I'm trying desperately to get my brain right so I can actually write the damned story. This is me, crossing my fingers.

24 or I Want to Be Like Jack

2006-02-01T15:00:00.000-08:00

So I was watching the latest episode of 24 on Monday (1200-1300, I think) and I have officially decided that Jack Bauer is the baddest dude alive. Best scene involved him beating the living crap out of a guy in front of the President of the United States. Jack pops a knife and puts the blade to the traitorous Chief of Staff's eye and says: "You've read my file."

Bad guy breaks like a little girl. It was awesome! I want to be that much of a bad ass! They should have given the One Ring to Jack. He would have got it to Mount Doom in 24 hours. Heh.

BSG was much better this episode than previously (with the deux ex machina used to keep the terminal President alive.) I did like how Roslin was clearly trying to get rid of Baltar and, oddly enough, I'm finding that Lee Adama is my favorite character on the show. He's like a Lawful Good guy surrounded by Evil and gradually coming to the realization that his code of ethics is a problem. Great stuff.

On the writing front, I am officially frustrated. I haven't written more than a sentence in well over a month. The Blood and Devotion cutoff date is today so that's a no go. I will write that story though ... I like the outline far too much not to write it. I suppose once it's written, I'll post it on fanfiction - since it's based in a D&D world, I'll drop it into the D&D section.

Damned fickle Muses.

Another Chapter...

2006-01-27T15:42:00.000-08:00

So I watched the 100th episode of Smallville yesterday, knowing that a main character was going to die. Before it started, I figured it would be Jonathan Kent since I just knew that they didn't have the stones to kill of Lana.

I was right.

To their credit, they killed her off prior to the midpoint of the episode but then, they had to go in and hit that Magic Reset Button. You know what I'm talking about - Trek was notorious about this and the so-called fan favorite ENT episode Twilight (which I loath, by the way) was a perfect example. Kick them in the teeth, kill off a character or three, and then BAM! The stupid-ass reset button is hit and everything is back to the way it was before the episode took place with no consequences.

So Lana dies in a car accident that is Lex's fault. If they had stayed with that, I would have saluted them for having a pair that were solid brass and clanged when they walked. Instead, Super!Dope whines to Jor-El who presents some sort of technobabble, unobtainum crystal that allows Super!Dope to Reset Time and pull a Groundhog Day. Through judicious use of nonsense and goofiness, Lana doesn't die but Jon does (massive heart attack).

On the bright side, it appears that Clark and Lana are finally through (although knowing these idiots...) and Chloe had a funny zinger when Clark told her about the time jump ("What? Did you turn the Earth back on its axis?" Heh.)

I give it a C+. They get the Plus 'cause they killed off Lana briefly. Hmmm...that's the THIRD time this season...

Mittwoch Update...

2006-01-25T14:38:00.000-08:00

So I caught BSG's most recent episode on Monday (an hour after a kick ass episode of 24) and, to my surprise, I didn't like it. It's weird: I've liked pretty much every single episode since the mini-series but there was...something about this one that irked me. Despite liking the character, I absolutely hated the little bit of deux ex machina that kept Roslin alive and cured her cancer. It bothered me just as much as the insta-cure of T'Pol's Pa'Nar on ENT during the fourth season; so much for a terminal disease.

Just once, I'd like to see someone with a terminal and incurable disease on a sci-fi show to actually die. Hell, even Babylon 5 cheated when they had the Mom from the old Lost in Space tv show on.

Regarding the Super Bowl: don't care who wins, I just want a good game. Given that both the Seahawks and the Steelers pretty much blew out their competition in the playoff games, I'm hoping for a tight game that doesn't hinge on craptastic playcalling.

And tomorrow, they kill off someone on Smallville. Man...I hope it's Lana. It won't be, of course, but I can dream...

Direct to DVD ENT petition

2006-01-22T10:59:00.000-08:00

Yeah, it's not likely to happen 'cause the people at Paramount are fraking stupid (case in point, they thought that the finale to Enterprise was a good idea) but TrekUnited has a nifty online petition that they are trying to send to Paramount to get off its duff and release more ENT. You can sign the petition HERE.

While I sincerely doubt it will actually accomplish anything, I went ahead and signed it anyway. Of course, knowing my luck, they will do a direct to DVD thing and build on the absolute shit that was the finale, thus pissing me off even more.

Right. Smallville. Sigh. It sucked.

Maybe I'm being a little hard on it, but I was fraking bored from the beginning and never could recover my interest in it. The premise was mediocre: a pair of Dirty Cops (one of whom saw the Krypto-Villains from the pilot) try to take Lex hostage 'cause they know he has (had) the spaceship that killed off a bunch of cops. Eventually Lana wanders in and Lex gets shot (again). Meanwhile, Clark is angsty 'cause he's afraid to sleep with Lana again 'cause his Super!Wad might kill her and goes to Chloe for advice; sharp move, dumbass - you know that Chloe had (has) a thing for you. What a dick. Eventually, there's an explosion in Metropolis, Lana once again is conveniently unconscious when Super!Clark shows up, and we're back to the status quo. Next week, they're going to kill a main character and they are seriously trying to make me think it's Lana...so it won't be.

Speaking of Superman being a dick, you absolutely have to check out this site; it's freaking hilarious.

Haven't seen the latest episode of BSG yet...that happens tomorrow.

And work still blows chunks.

Reflections...

2006-01-16T19:06:00.000-08:00

It truly says something about my life that the only thing I seem to really comment on this stupid blog lately are television shows that I'm watching. A large part of me grows steadily more ... distressed that my life seems to be idling; I'm 33, about to turn 34, and I'm nowhere near where I figured I would be at this point in my life back when I was 15. Hell, I figured to be married with a couple of kids, hopefully at a job that I enjoyed if not loved. Instead, I'm single (still) working a job that I'm slowly beginning to loathe and can't seem to work up the motivation to give a rat's ass about anything. Frustrating doesn't begin to describe it.

Thus far, I've got not much accomplished on that Blood and Devotion submission that's due on the 1st of Feb. I did get a pretty decent start on my story idea (I wanted to call it Eyes of Silver but Michael Stackpole already used that name) which means I've got the basic plot outlined out. I've also got a couple hundred words done but, for whatever reason, my Muse(s) remained focused on Star Trek: Enterprise, demanding that I write Vigrid ... which I did. The sequel to that is outlined out and over 50% complete, but once more, the Muse(s) decided to stall.

I picked up the latest Robert Jordan book (Knife of Dreams) last week and finished it over the weekend in hopes of spurring the Muse(s) to let me get Eyes of Silver done before the deadline. Oddly enough, twenty thousand words really isn't all that much to me if I can actually get focused so I'm hoping that I can get it done.

Which means I probably won't.

24 is off and running. Season 5 started off with a bang (pun intended) and, despite having a few problems with a couple of things (specifically Bauer managing to get inside the room of an ex-President who has just been assassinated), I'm really enjoying it. When will people learn to just listen to Jack? Who knew that Kiefer Sutherland could successfully play an Ultimate Badass?

Smallville & BSG: WTF?

2006-01-13T20:28:00.000-08:00

So I watched Smallville this week and I give the episode a D+ at best. I was bored from the teaser ("Lois" pointing a rifle at Jonathan Kent during a Vote Kent rally...Oh no. Will Lois actually shoot?) to the end (Oh no. Will Mrs. Kent accept the money from Evil Lionel to prop up the completely broke Kent campaign?) The B Plot (Clark & Lana) continues to bore me to tears (I wish he'd just fry her with his heat vision) and are they honestly trying to tell me that Lana can tell that something landed when Kal-El arrived and the US Government (armed with super satellites and NORAD and the like) couldn't?

Points to Chloe for some amusing lines ("Awkward factor of 8" was a good line), points subtracted for Lex being stupid. Seriously, the next time one of these people show up uninvited in his office, he should pull a taser out and shoot them, no hesitation. Now that would be cool.

The bit with Martha planning on accepting money from Lionel irks me. They've established in the earlier seasons that she's a business whiz and I find it extremely unlikely that she wouldn't take into account the fact that Lionel's backing of the Kent campaign is (a) likely illegal and (b) going to be revealed at some point. Yep, that's what every freshman senator needs: a campaign finance scandal in their first term.

It sad that I watch this show out of loyalty and don't really care what's going to happen anymore and yet, I continue to be completely fascinated by Battlestar Galactica. Tonight's episode of BSG rocked my socks off. It had drama, a super kick ass space battle, death and actual emotion! I bought that Apollo has some emotional issues from his near-death experience, I bought that Starbuck was going to complete her mission, I bought everything. And then I think about Smallville and wonder if I bought anything.

Sigh. Seriously, watch BSG. It fraking rocks.

Are you watching BSG?

2006-01-10T14:23:00.000-08:00

If not, then you, my friend, are missing out on the best damned television show on. Period.

Yeah, it's sci-fi, but it's GOOD sci-fi. The characters are realistic, the tension is high, and they have to make the HARD decisions. I've read various online "fans" who complain that the current season is inferior to the previous one or the mini-series but I honestly don't see that! It keeps getting better and better and better.

My temperment...

2006-01-08T12:51:00.000-08:00

Oddly, I can believe this...

You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything.
You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life.
You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you.

Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace.
You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life.
Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times.

At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you.
You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others.
You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.

What Temperment Are You?

End of the Season

2006-01-01T21:33:00.000-08:00

Well, the season's over for the Dolphins and, despite not being in the playoffs, I've got to say that 9-7 is a pretty good record for a team that was 4-12 last year! Good game today, although I will admit to being worried that the Pats would pull off some wacky last-minute comeback. And how weird was it to see Doug Flutie still playing?

Oh yeah, happy fraking new year. Hope it doesn't suck as much as last...

Whoot!

2005-12-20T16:16:00.000-08:00

Heh. The Robots lost. Once again, the '72 Dolphins remain the ONLY ones to go undefeated. If I had some sort of dancing smiley, I'd throw it up here.

Dolphins are now 7-7. That's already two wins more than last year and they actually could be eligible for a wild card slot. Our backup QB (Rosenfels) actually looked like a pro quarterback...

This is me...praying for the Dolphins to not suck.

Dolphin Thoughts...

2005-12-12T17:02:00.000-08:00

Well, the Dolphins dodged a bullet on Sunday. For some reason, I was totally unmotivated to actually watch the game...I tuned in and watched like three or four plays and just turned it off. Spent most of the day online with a little ticker from ESPN keeping me appraised of the game...

Already, the Fins have a better record than they did all of last year which is great! I'm hoping Couch Saban will completely turn the team around.

I am a little worried about those Indianapolis Robots. If anyone can break the perfect season of the '72 Fins, it's those robots dressed up like football players...

Oh Yeah...Smallville

2005-12-10T20:16:00.000-08:00

It occurs to me that I've neglected to comment on "Lexmas", the latest episode of Smallville. Well...it didn't suck.

That's not to say that it was all good. The Christmas oriented nature of the episode irked me, mostly 'cause I hate X-Mas, but there were some cool bits. Long-haired Chloe in Lex's weird hallucination, regular Chloe in the "real world", the fact that Lex consciously decided to take the Dark Path at the end...

However (and this is a big however), I fraking hate this whole "Lex is in love with Lana" angle of Smallville. TPTB really need to buy a fricking clue and realize that Lana is NOT all that.

Also caught the X3 Announcement trailer this week. What the hell is an announcement trailer? At any rate, despite the frighteningly bad rumors I've been reading about X3 online, this movie gives me a cautious sense of hope that it won't suck. For those of you who don't have a crappy modem, the link to the X3 trailer can be found HERE. Beast looks amazing although hearing Kelsey Grammar's voice may be a little jarring. And, more importantly, it looks like Colossus will have more than just a cameo walk on!

And how about that Dolphins game last Sunday?! Down 23-3 in the 3rd quarter and they come back to win 24-23! Whoo hoo!

Aeon Flux

2005-12-03T17:11:00.000-08:00

The trailers look dumb and from what they say at Rotten Tomatoes, I think I'll be skipping out of seeing this one.

But, seeing as to how this movie is coming from Paramount...the idiots who thought the that the Enterprise finale was a good idea, I wish I could say I'm surprised...

Well, this explains me...

2005-12-01T15:34:00.000-08:00

Check this crap out. Wonder if I'm considered in that group?

Ten fraking years...

2005-11-29T16:50:00.000-08:00

So Sunday was my ten year anniversary with the company that I work for.

Ten years...

Ugh. I can't believe I've been at the same job for ten stinking years. On the bright side, I get the "big" leave now (3 weeks instead of 2). And a clock.

On the dark side, my roommate was there for 10 years and was let go just over a month after his anniversary.

Maybe I should get my resume ready just in case...

Three in a row!

2005-11-17T19:09:00.000-08:00

Whoa! Three Smallvilles in a row that didn't suck! The world is truly coming to an end!

High points:

No Lana
Lots of Chloe
Some Kal-El vs Brainiac action in the Fortress
Lots of Chloe
Magnificent Bastard
Lots of Chloe...wait, did I already say that?

Low points:

Enough with the hints that Lois will become the super reporter. I get it already. Better yet, kill her off and let Chloe take her identity!
Clark is still a big dumb alien.
Lana didn't die (but she wasn't in the episode so it's all good...)

They had the Superman Returns teaser trailer after the episode and from what little I've seen, it looks cool. Loved hearing Brando's voice as Jor-El, loved hearing the Williams Superman theme...that remains one of my all time favorite instrumental pieces...

Vigrid...

2005-11-13T15:00:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned earlier, the Star Trek: Enterprise bug is still there. I've put the first part of Vigrid (my latest fanfic) up over at the House of Tucker and at Fanfic.com (link to the right.) I'm fairly happy with this one and am already getting some good feedback.

Again, I'm amazed at just how much I'm learning during this process. I've received a number of positive comments on my use of dialogue which is more than a little surprising as dialogue between characters has always been my weakness. Both of my beta-readers are providing me with a lot of good points and recommendations. Hopefully, I turn this into an honest to God career...

And is it too much to ask for the Dolphins to win? Sigh. At least they're playing the Yard Gnomes (aka the Browns) next week so there's a good chance we'll go to 4 and 6.

Two in a Row!

2005-11-10T18:40:00.001-08:00

Well, in my continuing Smallville reviews here, I've got to give the latest (Splinter) a positive review. Despite the presence of Lana (ugh), this was actually a pretty good episode. I called the "silver kryptonite" being a ploy of Brainiac pretty early (not bad for being unspoiled) but was slightly surprised at the end when it intimated that there was no such thing as SK.

Highlights included Clark nearly choking Lana to death (sigh...what a beautiful sight that was), the Kents discovering that Chloe knew Clark's secret, the Clark/Brainiac "fight", and the triumphant return of the Magnificent Bastard! Yay! Lionel's back!

One thing that worries me though: Chloe point-blank told Clark that she'd die before revealing his secret. I really hope that's not the gun on the wall. If they whack Chloe in the upcoming 100th episode (where someone is supposed to die), I'm going to quit watching. Bad enough the idiots in charge killed off Trip Tucker over on Enterprise...

Best line was one from Clark to Professor Fine aka Brainiac: I thought I was the Last Son of Krypton. You people keep showing up.

On a related television note, I caught the first eight episodes of Rome on Saturday and holy crap, it kicks ass! I love EVERYTHING about that show! The sex, the violence, the historical accuracy (weird, huh?), the characters...Two thumbs WAAY up.

Totally weird...

2005-11-03T19:00:00.000-08:00

Well, Smallville didn't suck like I figured it would. Highlights:

No Lana. At All. That automatically bumps the rating up about four notches.
Tom Wopat, aka Luke Duke. Driving a Dodge Charger. Comedy gold!
Chloe! Chloe! Chloe! Ahem...sorry. Good Chloe scenes...I so loving this new dynamic between her and Clark.
Maggie Sawyer, Metropolis PD. Sorry, it's a comic thing.
Clark in a strip club. I swear, Tom Welling deserves a buttload of credit for managing to bring off just how uncomfortable Clark was in that club...

Low points:

Lois Lane. Sure, Erica Durrance is hot and looked totally awesome in the bikini, but I still hate her character.
Not enough Evil!Lex.
No Magnificient Bastard (aka Lionel)
Where's Mrs. Kent? I haven't seen her around in like two or three episodes.

Aside from that, life proceeds apace. Work sucks (like always), my roommate is a fricking slacker, and the Muses have decided I'm not done with Star Trek: Enterprise. Sigh.

Did I mention that work sucks?

Figures...

2005-10-27T18:39:00.000-07:00

I wish I could say that I'm surprised. They give me a Smallville episode that doesn't suck and then follow up with one that does.

Literally.

Vampire Lana. God...shoot me now. Kristin Kreuk cannot (let me say this louder: cannot) play The Bad Girl. Put simply, this episode blew some righteous chunks.

If it hadn't been for the B & C Plots (Chloe trying to get into the Daily Planet and "Professor Fine" aka Brainac versus Luthor), I honestly think I'd have turned it off.

Funny quotes:
Clark: But I hate costumes.

Chloe (dressed as...nurse?): Was the cape necessary?
Clark (dressed as Zorro): I kind of like it...

'Cause he can't do crap!

2005-10-21T16:45:00.000-07:00

Holy crap. A Smallville episode I really liked! Let's see...

The Clark/Lana interaction kept at a minimum - CHECK
Lex doing something bad - CHECK
A DC Hero making an appearance and not sucking - CHECK
Chloe being present and not getting dead - CHECK
A funny DC comicsverse reference - CHECK
In series continuity - CHECK
Lana dying a horrible, brutal death - NO GO

Overall, Aqua was pretty fun! They gave AC (Arthur Curry, aka Aquaman) a new power but that's okay. His constant use of "bro" was annoying, but I liked that he wore the ugly Aquaman colors and they came up with a decent reason for it. I liked his reference to his dad owning a lighthouse...clearly AC doesn't know he's half-Atlantean yet.

Downsides. Lois Fricking Lane. WTF is she doing in this series? Kill her off and let Chloe assume her identity...

And oh boy. Vampire Lana next week. Sigh.

Good thing Spike showed up when he did...

Not much to say...

2005-10-19T15:30:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I haven't made any posts lately 'cause I haven't had anything to say. The Dolphins lost. Again. TV sucks. Again. The Muses are being fickle.

Again.

What? Smallville? Oh yeah...it was an okay episode. I had some serious issues with the first half of it but it kind of redeemed itself in the later half. Totally dug the Chlark interaction. Honestly couldn't care about Lana. (Surprise). Loved the Super!Jump, especially since Clark was wearing Superman's colors there.

Next up is Aquaman...'cause he can't do crap!

What the Frak?!

2005-10-08T21:03:00.000-07:00

So I just watched Dungeons and Dragons 2: Wrath of the Dragon God, fully expecting to MST-3K it and to my absolute surprise...

It didn't suck.

Now I'm not saying it was LOTR or Troy quality but I actually kind of liked it! My roommate was laughing 'cause I was naming off the spells as they were cast and we were both trying to figure out the approximate levels of the PCs...

But it didn't suck.

How weird is that?

Smallville 5.02 or "Ugh. WTF is this?"

2005-10-06T18:03:00.000-07:00

Well, the latest episode of Smallville just ended and I figured I should make some comments. Let's see...

"Ugh."

"God, this is boring."

"OK...can the final scene be any more cliched?"

"Rah. Clark & Lana are having sex. Yawn."

Seriously...if this is the sort of tripe that I'm going to be forced to watch the entire season, I'll be lucky to get past the halfway mark.

It wasn't entirely a waste. I liked Chloe (duh), I liked the Chloe/Lex interaction (although I'm concerned she just signed her death warrant with the threat to Mr. Luthor), and I liked that the Big Dumb Alien used his brain (a little) to defeat the FotW.

Where the hell are his powers? I want Young Superman, not boring Clark Kent...

Oh well...

Word Verification is GO!

2005-10-05T16:00:00.000-07:00

In case the one or two of you who actually visit this blog didn't already notice, I turned on the Word Verification 'cause I don't want spam. Don't like it?

Too bad. It's not like you were making comments anyway...

Smallville season 5

2005-10-05T14:30:00.000-07:00

It was pointed out to me that I had not yet posted my reaction to the Smallville season 5 premiere so here it is:

I'm really torn. On one hand, we got the Fortress of Solitude, Chloe knows, the freaking Phantom Zone! and TPTB are promising us that this season is more Superman-in-training. As a spoiler junkie, I'm quite aware that Arthur Curry (aka Aquaman) is going to make an appearance (quote: "'cause he can't do crap!" Either you get it or you don't...)

On the other hand, we've got to deal with the horrible specter of Clana.

True story: while watching this episode, every single time Lana was "in peril", I was rooting for the Peril. Whether it be the Kryptonian Losers of the Week (man...talk about pushovers) or Lex about to hit her with his car, I was rooting against her. And now I have to suffer through an entire season of her & Kal being lovey-dovey? Man...fry the whiny bitch with your heat vision and hook up with the blonde babe.

Oh...right, review. It was not bad up until the end. I liked seeing the Fortress, especially how it mirrored the FoS from the Superman movie, I totally dug the revised Phantom Zone thingy, and the conversation between Kal & Chloe was very natural. The whole episode did feel a little rushed, like they were trying to get too much done in a short amount of time, and the last 1/4 really sucked - hello? Kal? Didja forget about Chloe already? Remember her? The friend you left in the Yukon? Dumb ass...

Anyway, here's to hoping it doesn't suck...(and that Lana gets whacked)

HALO...The Movie

2005-10-04T14:22:00.000-07:00

This is kind of cool...just hope it doesn't suck...

Serenity

2005-10-01T17:15:00.000-07:00

Just got back from seeing Serenity and I have to say, Joss Whedon did an astounding job with this movie. The witty banter is there, the story is pretty darned good, and it left me wanting more. I honestly hope this is one of the blockbusters of the year, just to rub FOX's nose in it.

If you liked Firefly, go see it. Hell, if you have no idea what Firefly is, you may want to check it out anyway. Good, solid sci-fi fun. Highly rated.

Butt Monkeys continue...

2005-09-22T18:30:00.000-07:00

My evil Muse continues to torment me with her studious lack of presence. I have ideas, yes, plots and various meanderings throughout the jungle of my mind, BUT NO FRAKING WORDS! Fickle, the Muse is, wandering this way and that. Taking me to Enterprise for Elysium and then, just as I finish and look upon it with well-deserved pride, hints that perhaps...just perhaps I may be able to complete a fantasy submission. For monetary units instead of merely accolades! In my excitement, I fail to notice the sadistic glint in her eye. Lo, do I throw myself into this new project with great abandon, quickly crafting an overall plot that I am fairly happy with, a plot that I am confident will draw the appropriate notice.

And then, like the fickle, fickle bitch that she is, the Muse takes a vacation.

Oh, I have sought to tempt her back, plying her with sweet words and promises of NFL Sunday Ticket, but she remains uninterested. I even go so far as wander back toward Enterprise and a potential sequel to Elysium in the hopes that it will draw her attention and she will grace me with that Eureka! moment. For a time (mere days), she does so, and a plot begins to surface...

So naturally, she takes another fraking vacation.

One day...wham! Pow! Straight to the moon!

FRAKING BUTT-MONKEY!

2005-09-15T15:40:00.000-07:00

Man, I freaking HATE having writer's block. I'm sitting here, desperately trying to work on that damned fantasy thing that I mentioned a couple of days ago and I've got nothing. No words. No ideas. Not a damned thing.

It's really frustrating too, 'cause I've got a pretty good idea and I've already hashed out a basic plot outline but every single time I try to actually START writing, my brain goes blank. It's like the stupid white screen seeps into my mind and overwhelms my so-called creative talent. It sucks.

A lot. >:(

A GOOD Day

2005-09-11T13:14:00.000-07:00

Well, despite the fact that I've got to go back to work tomorrow and the fact that I dropped nearly $300 on a stupid alternator for my car yesterday, today was a good day.

Why? Two numbers: 32-10. I just watched my Miami Dolphins NOT SUCK! Yeah babee!

Ah Discoveries...

2005-09-04T18:15:00.000-07:00

I believe that I have discovered the source of my recent Enterprise obsession. It is completely encapsulated in a single photograph.

Damn.

Elysium - Done!

2005-09-03T11:15:00.000-07:00

Well, I finished up the last act of Elysium last night and sent it on to Trip/T'Polers.

I'll have to say, regardless of whatever weird bug drew me to Enterprise, the result is one I'm pretty darned satisfied with. I learned a lot writing it, mostly about style and technique but, oddly enough, about dialogue as well. I've heard it said that dialogue is one of the most difficult things to write and I'll have to agree; keeping all characters from sounding exactly like one another was a chore.

Next up on my plate is something my buddy Q pointed me to. Fantasist Enterprises (whom, I must admit, I've never heard of before) is seeking submissions for a fiction anthology. Their words are:

"We are looking for a very particular kind of fiction for this book. The setting should have a medieval or ancient-civilization feel, and should be steeped in religion, mysticism, and war. We are looking for epic fantasy here, as the word-length requirements should suggest."

The word count is between 7000 and 20,000 which, while it may seem like a lot, shouldn't be that hard. Elysium is over 29,000 words and I've only been working on it since early or mid July. My background in gaming is actually turning out to be useful for once as I already have a good idea what I'm going to do. I'm going to be setting it in my homebrew fantasy world, although it'll be set significantly earlier than any of the games I've run. Some research will be necessary though, since I'm going to be shooting for a Greco-Roman feel. And the best part is, if my submission is accepted, I'll get paid for AND will be officially published. I'm pretty happy with my writing skills - hell, at work I've made the comment that I write better than I speak and multiple people agree with me - so I should have a fairly good shot.

Wish me luck..

Holy crap! I'm turning into a writer! :-)

Can't Disagree With This

2005-08-30T17:04:00.000-07:00

As my friends know, I'm one of those radical right wingers who is fraking sick to death of hearing the whiney lefties bitch and complain about the War on Terror. I have several friends currently serving in the military (well, actually just one since the Air Force doesn't really count. Heh.) and reading and hearing the nonsense about what's going on really pisses me off.

This dude has it right.

Dammit All, I'm Back

2005-08-23T16:05:00.000-07:00

Well, GenCon's over and I'm back. Hoorah.

Picked up Iron Heroes which is pretty damned cool and experienced first-hand how annoying flight delays can be. But damn, there was this SMOKING hot chick in the OKC airport when I got back so I guess some thing are good.

Rah. Back to my boring, mundane existence.

GenCon, Or I'm Outta Here

2005-08-16T15:35:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving tomorrow at oh-dark-thirty for Indy. It's the annual Geek Pilgrimage that is GenCon.

Naturally, I shan't be updating the blog during that time. I do plan on attending a couple of Writing For (Insert Whatever) seminars since Elysium is working out so well.

I've got Act 4 up over there (Go HERE for to read it); Act 5 - the finale - is kicking my ass. There are at least two really depressing conversations I have to write and I'm finding it difficult to get really motivated to do so.

But I shall prevail...hopefully.

Later...

Elysium, Part Deux

2005-08-10T17:07:00.000-07:00

And still, the words are coming. I've finished Act 3 of Elysium (I'm up to 40 pages!) and am starting on Act 4. The teaser, Act 1 and Act 2 can be found at Trip/T'Polers (where I originally published Truth and Lies.) I haven't completely abandoned the FanFic page but appear to be getting a better response over at TTP.

GenCon is next week and I'm pretty pumped. Looking forward to hanging out with Brethren at the Gamers Mecca. I have preplanned NOTHING; a buddy of mine whose stationed in Japan is going to be there and expressed interest in having me join him and some other guys in a D&D tournament. I figure, why not? It could be fun...

The best part about it is I won't be at work for nearly a week. Now all I have to do is buy a lottery ticket, win 200 million dollars (I'm not asking for much...) and retire. Yep, that'll happen.

The Less Well-Lit Side of the Force

2005-08-04T15:32:00.000-07:00

Well, my roommate finally got his website up and running. Take a look; it's pretty cool and I'm only a little envious at his skill. A little.

I'm up to 22 pages on Elysium. The words are flowing, even if I don't know why those fickle Muses took me to Enterprise. At least the words are flowing.

12 days and wake up for GenCon. Whoo hoo!

At least the words are flowing...

Elysium

2005-07-31T19:04:00.000-07:00

Well, the annoying Star Trek: Enterprise bug remains. It's frustrating as hell, but at least I'm getting some actual writing done these days. At some point, I'll get this stuff out of my head.

I've put up the first part of a fic I'm working on over at FanFiction.net; it's another idea I had for an Enterprise finale as opposed to that excrement that we got. I've got the whole thing actually plotted out (for once); I just hope I can actually write the damned thing.

It occured to me that I haven't done any movie reviews lately. Well, that's 'cause I haven't seen much. I did see the Fantastic Four when it came out; it wasn't so fantastic. It didn't suck or anything, but was just...blah. A true popcorn fest with not much plot. I'm going to try and see Sky High this week; it looks kind of fun.

Right now on TV, the only things I'm going out of my way to watch are Battlestar Galactica and The 4400. Both are highly recommended.

My Fanfic account

2005-07-23T13:16:00.000-07:00

I found this really cool site a while back that deals entirely with Fanfiction. Seeing as to how I wrote that Finale Fix for Star Trek: Enterprise, I figured I would go ahead and create an account there, upload Truth and Lies again (I'm still not entirely happy about that title...) and then maybe do some more writing there.

If you've visited in the last couple of days, you may be wondering where the "What I've been working on" posts went; I deleted them. Why? Well, 'cause I've since revised them and will probably upload them to the fanfiction site down the road.

It's been a weird week. Work has been obscenely slooooow for the last couple of months and the worries about layoffs were warranted. My department was halved (down from four to two), leaving me and one other guy there. What sucks the most is that my best friend (and roommate) was one of those laid off. He's taking it better than I would; of course, he's been talking about wanting to get a different job for the last five or six years so...

GenCon is coming up in about 25 days; I'll be there (third year in a row). Let's go, gamers!

Musing "Their" Absence

2005-06-23T16:00:00.000-07:00

I'm getting really frustrated.

See, I'm back to running my D&D campaign (which I personally enjoy the hell out of) but, for some damned reason, my Muses keep trying to divert my attention. I'm finding it really difficult to focus on The Game, which concerns me a great deal. I have no desire for this particular campaign to just...die out. I've had way too many of those in the past and no desire to repeat that.

So I struggle on. I take my gaming notebook to work with me (since I can't fraking us WordPad anymore!) and jot down random notes/ideas/etc. as they come to me. The book was a great idea; I picked it up at Waldenbooks for $14 and the covers are made of this fairly dense cardboard-type substance so they actually survive.

Unfortunately, I think I've written about seven or eight lines involving D&D the last two weeks. Where have those fickle bitches taken me?

Star Trek, believe it or not.

Now I'm not a Trekkie or a Trekker but I can't seem to get my brain off of this idea I'm having about a Trek show set 50-some years after Enterprise ended but before James T. Kirk (the only True Captain of Star Trek) started seeding the Galaxy with his Kirk genes.

I'm still not 100% about the name of the ship; I'm going with Archer temporarily (since the Federation seems to honor that loser) but intend on renaming it somewhere down the line. The CO would be a one-armed guy (so he CAN'T go on Away missions), the XO is secretly an Augment (you know, the Khan-type guys) who was raised by Vulcans (I'm thinking Koss would be funny - if you don't get it, I can't explain it), and the doctor would be a Vulcan named T'Liz. See, in my universe, Trip Tucker never died nor did that half-human, half-Vulcan baby he & T'Pol named Elizabeth. Two additional things: 1) T'Liz is NOT a member of Starfleet but is attached to the ship 'cause Starfleet has a doctor shortage, and 2) her half-human heritage is a secret.

The thing is, if I were in charge of such a show, I'd like to think that I could do it right. Fix some of the total frak-ups by those two morons who thought killing off Trip Tucker was a Valentine gift. Maybe show that in the military, people actually get promoted. (I mean seriously, Harry Kim (of Voyager) was an Ensign (O-1) for 7 years? Hoshi Sato and Travis Mayweather were Ensigns for 10 years? WTF?!) Not to mention, sometimes, they get transferred. Or killed. Permanently.

You have no idea how frustrating it is to not be able to focus on what I NEED to focus on.

This will be a day long remembered...

2005-06-15T13:00:00.000-07:00

Finally, finally, FINALLY!

To be blunt, Batman Begins fucking rocks. Everything about it works on multiple levels; this is truly an origin story to the coolest hero.

The Good: Christian Bale as Bruce/Bats, Gary Oldman as Gordon, the rest of the Cast. The CAR, man! I so want one of those things! It is truly the best Batmobile I've ever seen.

The Bad: Hmmm...the love interest learning who is behind the mask? Yeah, that'll work. (Although I loved that she told him that Bruce Wayne is the mask and The Batman is the real face.

The Ugly: I've got to wait how long until the sequel? Are we 100% that the same creative crew is onboard? If not, the suits need to sign the paperwork NOW.

I hate to say it, but I liked BB better than Episode III...

Fifteen Years

2005-06-13T18:00:00.000-07:00

So it's the 13th of June, 2005. Fifteen years ago, my military service began. Four years later, it ended.

Fifteen years. Damn...that just makes me feel really frakin' old.

What's happened in those fifteen years? Well, we suffered through Clinton (that was half of the reason I got out), we narrowly avoided the Hell that would have been a Gore presidency, 9-11 and the War on Terror, and then we avoided a New Hell (aka the frightening prospect of a Kerry presidency.)

Personally? Not a helluva lot. I was a janitor (that job fraking SUCKS!), moved out here to OKC and started my current job, went to school (but still haven't finished), and got old.

Fifteen years. I'd be getting close to retirement age if I had stayed in. That's if I hated gotten injured in Iraq or Afghanistan since I was Infantry. I'd probably be a Sergeant First Class or maybe even a First Sergeant (which is a frightening thought in of itself.)

I really expected to have accomplished more than I have in fifteen years. I'd hoped to have written a novel by now, maybe be married with a couple of kids, not to mention having an actual college degree. Once, I'd even thought about being a teacher (history, of course) but my lack of patience with stupid people pretty much shot that to hell.

Guess it could be worse...

Random Rants

2005-06-09T16:00:00.000-07:00

Yeah, it's been a while since I posted anything here so, like a shotgun, I shall spray a wad of random thoughts and complaints and the like.

First of all, I've kind of been trying to follow up my fanfic (as mentioned in the previous blog entry). See, what I thought would be kind of cool is to kick off the Romulan War, blow up a lot of stuff, kill off a few characters, etc. I've got two decent-sized paragraphs done but then the Muses, those fickle, fickle bitches, decided to wander off and visit someone other than me. Now I'm stuck trying to woo them back and, given my mediocre track record with women, who knows when they'll visit again.

Which leads me to my next gripe. I'm a gamer. I love roleplaying and am resuming my D&D campaign tomorrow. Heh. With those damned Muses out of town. Thank God for Dungeon magazine. I found an adventure that actually works for me (some minor tweaking but that's no surprise) and am kind of looking forward to it. Really hope those Muses come back soon...

It's been a couple of weeks since Episode III came out and I've since had some additional thoughts. To be blunt, I'm really disappointed with the prequels in general. Every Memorial Day, I have a Star Wars marathon. This year, I got all six of them in and Empire is absolutely heads and tails above all of the rest. The romance is nearly perfect, the fights actually have drama, the acting isn't too bad...

I'm wondering what I would have done had I been in charge of the prequels? I mean, aside from farming out the directing to an actual director. I think, in retrospect, that Episode I was simply a mistake. Sure, I really liked Qui-Gon & Darth Maul, but the rest of the movie just fell...flat.

Watch The 4400; it's really cool. And next week, Batman Begins. Please don't suck. Please don't suck...

My first Real fanfic

2005-05-29T13:50:00.000-07:00

I've recently been devouring fanfiction on the Internet. It's turned out to be cheaper than my usual Waldenbooks addiction and some of it - a surprising amount, actually - is really damned good. In the last week or so, I've been focused mainly on Smallville and Star Trek: Enterprise fanfics.

I found Trip/T'Polers: A Trip and T'Pol Shipper's Site sometime back; from its title, you can tell that the fiction there pretty much links Trip Tucker and T'Pol. They have this ongoing "Fix the Finale" Challenge and, after reading some of the additions, I couldn't help but to wonder what I would do.

Naturally, that led to Truth and Lies, my first piece of official Internet fanfiction. Take a look and let me know what you think; I'm fairly proud of it since I somehow managed to write the whole thing from Captain Archer's POV and I really don't like his character. Except in my story.

Funny how that works out, isn't it?

"24" - season 4

2005-05-26T14:45:00.000-07:00

It's been a couple of days since the season finale of 24, time enough to put my thoughts down. I actually had most of this written down on Tuesday but, being a lazy bugger, I'm only now getting to typing it. As a caveat, I own the first season of 24 on DVD but somehow managed to miss most of season 2 and all of season 3. I think it was going up against Smallville at the time and I was one of the four or five people watching Young Superboy instead.

I was thoroughly addicted throughout this season. Yeah, sure, there were a couple of mis-steps along the way (i.e. the Stealth fighter able to shoot down Air Force 1 (with a standard payload? Riiiight...), a traitor in CTU...again..., etc.) but the good outweighed the bad by far. Kiefer was totally hardcore as Jack Bauer - this character is now in my lexicon: "What would Jack do?" is a refrain I ask if faced with a difficult choice. Of course, I rarely cut off fingers, or decapitate someone to make a point, or torture someone with a spoon, but hey! Whatever floats your boat. I really dug that they didn't shy away from the Evil Terrorist Family (tm); hell, they didn't even tell us the final fate of Doubting Terrorist Son though I think it likely that he joined his mom...

Given that Jack is officially dead, what's next for him? I've read online that it's not 100% that Kiefer is returning next season though I have to say, 24 without Bauer is a scary notion - half the fun is watching to see what craziness he'll do next to get the job done. This season was great in that regard: he held up a convenience store to delay an Evil Terrorist, tortured his girlfriend's husband in front of her, led an assault on the Chinese consulate, then put a gun to the CTU doctor's head and told him to led his girlfriend's husband croak. Like I said: Hardcore.

I didn't really care for how quickly the nuclear missile storyline was wrapped up - I kind of wanted to see it dragged out until around 15 minutes to the end. The final conversation between Palmer and Jack would have been better if Palmer never identified to whom he spoke; I don't care if Michelle told Bauer his phone was scrambled, we have guys in the NSA whose only job is to break encryption like that. Also wasn't entirely satisfied with the resolution of the Evil Terrorist plot. Was Marwan working for someone even higher on the food chain? Online reports regarding next season have indicated that this season ties in much closer to season 5 so maybe we'll see...

Recommendations for CTU:
(1) Extensive (anal extensive) background checks on ALL employees no matter their job, even if it's just the janitor. Recommend all cell phones be left at a central location.

(2) Consider hiring tech people who are brilliant orphans with no social skills and limited backbone to avoid the inevitable personality clash and backstabbing. This might backfire, however, and they get a floor full of Chloes. Heh. That'd be fun to see.

(3) Have more than one doctor on standby in times of crisis. Just saying...

(4) Promote Curtis to official "Jack" status; he's spent enough time (at least in this season) as Jack's padawan learner to have earned Minor Hardcore status himself.

(5) Issue red shirts to all personnel going into the field with named characters. Just saying...

(6) Do What Jack Says. He's always right and you don't want to piss him off or make him think you might be working for the Enemy. This goes double if you actually are working for the bad guys.

(7) Look into hiring Mandy (the chick who blew up the plane in season 1) on a full time basis and partner her with Jack. Just imagine the sparks. Those two are clearly made for each other. That whole scene with her holding Tony hostage against Jack was cool. "Will you watch him die?" "I will." "I believe you." Hell yeah. She was warm for his form.

While I lament that it's over (thus leaving me with nothing to watch on Mondays), I loved the whole season being played out with an annoying midseason interruption. I'd also like to thank the creators for giving us something original. I may be the only one but I am fraking sick to death of reality shows, standard issue cop/doctor/lawyer shows, and the crappy ass shitcoms the Networks give us.

Man, football season can't get here soon enough...

Smallville season finale - "Commencement"

2005-05-20T15:30:00.000-07:00

Well, I caught the SV finale on Wed. and have to say that it was better than I expected. This isn't to say that it was great, or even really good, just that it didn't suck. Like the previous episode. The house of wax crap...

Some random thoughts:

1) Ah, Chloe Sullivan, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...uh...sorry. Anyway, I rather liked Chloe in this episode (even though she didn't have enough scenes - she never has enough scenes.) The hinting to everyone's favorite Big Dumb Alien may have gone a bit far and I did read in an interview that Allison Mack wishes the writers would ease up in that regard. Loved that she kept Lex from discovering the Secret not once, but twice in the episode and how funny was it when she cross-checked Lex? Now the interesting question I have is what does she think now, having seen Clark vanish in a flare of light?

2) WTF was the point of the witch crap though this whole season? With a resolution that shitty, they shouldn't have even brought it up! Now leave me to dream a little dream involving Lana going to prison and thus leaving the show...

3) Ah crap. Lana sees a spaceship. Sigh. Well, she already went through Instant Ninja school, she was an Instant Witch for a season, so I guess turning her into a neo-Kryptonian is the next decision? I pray to the Great and Terrible Television Gods that the ship has either (a) a facehugger in it just for her or (b) Brainiac eats her brain. So she has to leave the show...

4) I am officially sick of Lois Lane. Sure, Erica Durance is nice to look at (especially with those tight shirts) but the character is sprinting to catch up with the annoyance that is Lana. Enough with the future Lois-Clark innuendo already - Chloe is the true future Lois, dammit. And what was up with the soldier snapping to attention for the General's daughter? And his uniform? The cover on his Kevlar looked a size and a half too big...uh...that's his helmet, BTW.

5) Loved the dark side Lex and the scene with him talking to his dad in Lana's apartment (still don't know how she can afford it) was awesome what with the light flickering over Lex - hints that he is teetering on the edge of darkness. I want more. As long as he doesn't hurt Chloe. If he does, I want Kal-El back to fry him with the heat vision. And then fly backwards through time to rescue her. Heh. Yeah, that'd happen.

6) How cool was the Batman preview? I am so pumped for this flick; it looks like they got the Dark Knight right! If I didn't already know that was Christian Bale in the suit, I don't think I'd be able to tell - his voice as the Bat was sooooooo different than his Wayne voice. Begin prayer: Please don't suck. Please don't suck. Please don't...

My predictions for season 5 of Smallville (note that this is NOT what I'd LIKE to see):

1) More Clark/Lana angst. (Though, if what I've read online is accurate, half of the writing staff wants to move on, and neither Tom Welling nor Kristin Kreuk want to rehash that storyline. Of course the dumbasses in charge will ignore the obvious chemistry between Welling and Allison in favor of the shite that is Clana.) Bastards.

2) Less Chloe. Why? Because TPTB are fucking idiots and won't admit that she's the most popular character on the damned show. Instead, they want to screw her over and over. And not in a good way. Bastards.

3) Another "Let's keep Lana connected to the show's mythology even though no one likes her and it's clearly an attempt to keep her relevant when she should be fried by Kal-El's heat vision so he can hook up with Chloe" plot (ala the stupid ass witch storyline) that pisses off the viewers and causes them to tune into Lost. Ninja, then witch, so now what? Turn her into Power Girl? Or, God forbid, Wonder Woman? Bastards.

4) Because of these 3, fewer viewers than ever.

5) Because of #4, this will be the last season. Chloe will die a stupid, senseless death (just like Trip Tucker did over on Enterprise) that pisses everyone off and Lana will "let" Clark go off to become Superman, totally raping comic canon in which she was left behind because he outgrew her. Hopefully season 2 of Battlestar Galactica won't suck...

Bastards.

Episode III - My Review

2005-05-19T17:00:00.000-07:00

Well, as promised, here is my review of Revenge of the Sith.

I'm having difficulty putting all of my thoughts down regarding the movie; I loved it and I hated it. Going into this movie, I already knew the plot; as a super Star Wars geek, I bought the novelization when it came out and devoured it in a few hours. I've read the pre-EpIII book (Labryinth of Evil), watched the Clone Wars cartoons, etc. etc.

The Good: Most of the battles were amazing. The opening space battle totally rocked and I really liked the climatic saber duel. There was some actual emoting going on and I soooo want to be as cool as Palpatine when I grow up. Ian McDiarmid is scary good and I totally bought Ewan McGregor as a young Alec Guiness. The story is a lot tighter than the previous two episodes and I totally LOVED Palpatine's manipulation of our boy Anakin...

The Bad: CG is your friend when doing space battles but Unca George has this tendency to...overuse it. There are a couple of lightsaber sequences in which one character (or more) is clearly CGed - Count Dooku does this flippy thing in the beginning that really bothers me; I'd have rather he leisurely strolled down the stairs or did that cool jump thing that Darth Vader did at Bespin (right before Luke fell into the freezing chamber.) As cool as the saber duels are, I kind of miss the sort of fight we see on Bespin - you know, when somebody does a flip, it actually looks like a flip instead of a CGed dude doing a flip.

The Ugly: Some of the acting in this episode is really off. Sam Jackson just felt...wrong; I can't really explain it but there are a couple of scenes with him that really bother me. And I expected his saber battle with Palpatine to be...better. This goes back to the CG complaint I have in the Bad so ignore it if you wish.

Overall, I really liked RotS. It's not as good as Empire (really, what is?) and probably isn't as good as A New Hope but is better than Menance or Clones. Jedi is hard to quantify since it is equal parts atrocious (the singing in Jabba's palace, the Ewoks) and brilliance (Palpatine, Palpatine, Palpatine, and the space battle.) Time will tell where it falls permanently.

Four sabers out of Five...

Enterprise...or...Let's Totally Frak Up a Franchise

2005-05-18T10:50:00.000-07:00

I'll be seeing Episode III at the midnight showing tonight so look for my review around oh-dark -thirty. Here's to hoping it lives up to the hype...

Did you watch Enterprise? Probably not, since it appears that most people didn't. I caught a number of episodes in season 1 but rapidly lost interest. The initial concept was sound and fairly interesting, to let the audience see the formation of the Federation - Kirk's Federation, not that communist thing we saw in TNG.

But they had to bring in time travel.

Now don't get me wrong: if done right (though I really can't remember when it was done right aside from...say Doctor Who or Quantum Leap), time travel stories can be interesting. Unfortunately, basing a Star Trek show around a "temporal cold war" is an example of just what NOT to do.

And continuity? Man, they didn't just ignore it, they raped it. They raped it, crapped on it, burned it, and then flushed the remains down the toilet.

Enterprise dropped off of my 'must watch' list pretty early in season 1, falling to a 'will watch if nothing else is on' type of show. As it was initially up against Smallville, I routinely skipped it in favor of Superbody (as written by monkeys - we all know what I think about that) but caught episodes whenever SV was in reruns or was pre-empted by college basketball. Some episodes were bad, some were okay, but too many were abyssal. Season 3 struck me as tPtB trying to turn it into Farscape (a good show to copy, just not for Star Trek.) Then, they moved s4 to Friday which is game night for me, so it dropped down to a 'not watching it at all' zone. When I heard all of the good things about this last season, I went ahead and downloaded the episodes off the 'Net and watched.

Season 4 rocked. Sure, it started out as bunk, what with the stupid time travel crap still in play, and ended with one of the worst episodes I've seen (why was Riker still on the Enterprise? didn't he get promoted and get his own ship? Hoshi & Mayweather are still Ensigns after 10 years? So much for their careers...) but in between, Manny Coto, the new guy in charge, gave me a solid - and fun! - final season. We got Tellarites, and hot green chicks and mirror universe fun, and Klingons without the bumpy heads...

Hell, I actually found myself rooting for T'Pol & Trip to end up together ala Aeryn and John, and everyone who knows me will agree that I have a cold, black heart. The second episode with little Elizabeth was actually painful; I'll admit to tearing up a bit. Instead, we got one pointless death and a really...shitty episode.

How would I have ended it? Hmmm, I think I would have urged them to go out with a bang instead of the whimper we got. Since they had already established the Romulan threat in a number of episodes of s4, have those buggers ambush the NX-01 while it was on a routine mission. Kill off a bunch of the principals in suitably heroic ways before having the survivors discover the coming Romulan assault. End the series on a cliffhanger note, with the heavily damaged Enterprise trying to limp home with fully half of its crew dead or grievously wounded. The Romulan war is coming...

Instead, we got...that. As far as I'm concerned, Enterprise ended with Terra Prime. Grieve, my friend, for Star Trek is well and truly dead. Thanks, Berman and Braga; you guys killed it.

More Smallville...or What I would Do, Conclusion

2005-05-17T14:20:00.000-07:00

It all comes down to this...

Episode 524: Neverending
Plot: (1) Jonathan Kent dies, but not before urging Clark to get on with his life - grieve but not to allow the grief to ruing the young Kryptonian's future. Chloe & Lois at the Secret Lab and discover all manner of unethical and blatantly illegal experiments going on; they are discovered by security which leads to a chase. They split up but the chase still results in an explosion that levels the facility. A green explosion.

General Lane, already on his way to the LuthorCorp building via helicopter, has his pilot divert to the explosion scene immediately. He discovers bodies and, from his reaction, the audience should get that Lois survived but is badly injured. We should never actually see the survivor.

(4) In Smallville, Clark is at his grieving mother's side when they learn of the explosion. Realizing that Chloe is probably involved, he heads there at top speed - he runs, jumps and just doesn't fall. Flight and he's not even Kal-El. He arrives and Gen Lane reveals that there has been a tragic accident; he never actually comes out and says who dies but the intimation is that it's Chloe. General Lane gives Clark what is left of an engagement ring - a familiar engagement ring. The body recovered is seared beyond recognition and, as Clark approaches it, a wave of kryptonite-induced nausea sweeps over him.

Lex arrives and Clark lashes out verbally, blaming Luthor for the deaths. In his anger, he slips, making a comment about not being able to trust a Luthor with his secret. The proximity of the kryptonite makes him weak and Lane, who glares at Luthor with absolute hatred on his face, helps Kent away. Lex watches them go and, as Clark quickly recovers once clear of the kryptonite, realizes that a nearby chunk of meteor rock was affecting him. He looks at the rock, then Clark, then back again.

Later, in SV, as Clark tries to adjust to the double loss of Chloe & his father, he visits the caves, hoping to find some solace in Kryptonian lore or something. Lex enters, armed with kryptonite and the knowledge he has been seeking for 5 years. Furious at Kent's history of lies, he leaves Clark laying on the floor with a large chunk of the green rock at his side. Lex reaches for a crystal but a brilliant light envelops him. Jor-El's voice booms through the caves, warning Luthor that this is meant only for the Last Son of Krypton. The caves begin to collapse, burying the kryptonite and allowing Clark to get Lex free. The crystal has burned the figure-8 and shield symbol into Lex's hand and Jor-El reveals that Luthor's memories have been...adjusted. They are not gone, merely adjusted. For the first time, as the complex collapses upon itself, Jor-El refers to his son as Clark.

Depressing montage scene follows: (a) Gen. Lan standing before a bandaged woman with Lucy and Gabe Sullivan; all three are in tears; (b) Jon Kent's funeral with as many SV guest stars as possible (including the sherriff, the Ross family, Ron Troupe, Lana, Nell & her new husband, etc.); (c) Lex in his Metropolis office, clearly just having emerged from a sickbed. He stares at the shield burned in his hand.; (d) Later, Clark stands alone before a tombstone. The camera pans around to the name: CHLOE SULLIVAN.

Lana and Pete attempt to console Clark but he warns them to steer clear of Lex for fear he may do...something in retaliation against Clark. Clark reveals he is leaving Smallville to seek out his destiny. He wishes the two of them luck and walks away, springing up into the air as Pete and Lana weep. Fade to black.

---
FADE IN:

EXT. METROPOLIS - DAY

Establishing shot of the city with the LexCorp (not LuthorCorp) building and Daily Planet globe prominent. Text appears, overlaid over the cityscape.

TEXT: FIVE YEARS LATER

INT. LEXCORP BUILDING - LEX'S OFFICE

We PUSH into the LexCorp building to a massive executive office. A single figure occupies the room: LEX LUTHOR. He stands at a window, staring out at the cityscape, his back to the camera. Dressed in a black suit, he stands with his arms clasped at his back. One of his hands is gloved.

The room is a study in contrast, with high tech gear on the walls and numerous native American artifcats as well. On his immense desk, are several papers, the most prominent of which is the Planet. A huge headline is splashed across the paper:

HEADLINE: FLYING SUPERMAN SAVES AIR FORCE ONE.

A photo of the scene, too small to be clear, can seen with a humanoid figure wearing the distinctive Superman colors under AF1. The byline under the headline is Lois Lane. Numerous other papers can be seen, many of which have the same picture, just from a different angle. At least one paper has an artist's rendering which is taken straight from a comic.

The other glove is on the desk as well and we ZOOM toward Lex. The shield is still burned in his ungloved hand but some of it has healed. It no longer looks like an 8 but rather an S. A familiar S...

LUTHOR (softly, to himself): So, Naman, you finally show yourself...

He begins to rub the shield with his gloved thumb.

We PUSH OUT and FLY toward the Daily Planet building.

INT. DAILY PLANET - MANAGING EDITOR'S OFFICE

Two men are here. One is clearly CLARK KENT in his full-up goof disguise. He is dressed in an ill-fitting suit (a touch too big) and has large dark-rimmed glasses. His hair smoothed back and he stands with a slight (but not too pronounced) hunch. He shakes the hand of the other man, PERRY WHITE.

CLARK: Thanks for the opportunity, Mister White.

PERRY: (grins): You've earned it, Kent. You helped me once; I'm repaying the favor and getting a helluva reporter. (beat as they share a memory) I'm going to assign you to the City Desk for now.

He hits the intercom as Clark glances around.

PERRY (a little too loud): Get Lane in here! (beat as he glances up at Clark) I'll have Lois show you around.

Tight on Clark: He knows the name 'Lois Lane' and is clearly uncomfortable. He glances around again.

A LONG BEAT passes as he studies the framed front pages and Elvish memorabilia. The door opens and LOIS LANE enters. Tight on Clark's reaction: surprise, wonder, an omigod WTF expression.

"Lois" is clearly an older Chloe Sullivan. Her hair is darker, longer and she is dressed conservatively, so not like the Chloe of old. She appears sad and glances at Clark without a hint of recognition in her face.

LOIS: You wanted me, Chief?

PERRY: This is Clark Kent, our new City Desk reporter. Show him around.

Lois rolls her eyes.

LOIS: Right. The hick from Smallville. (beat, with a sour glance at Clark. She's clearly got things to do, places to be.) Come on, Smallville.

Clark follows her, his eyes wide with wonder. He hesitates, glances back at Perry.

CLARK: Mister White, could you see that a portion of my salary gets sent to this address?

He offers s slip of paper but Lois speaks up.

LOIS: Let me guess. Gray-haired mother back at the farm?

CLARK (with a smile): Red-haired, acutally.

PERRY: Do I look like accounting? Lane, get him out of here.

INT. DAILY PLANET - PRESS ROOM

Clark and Lois leave the office and head toward desks. The wonder in Clark's face is infectious.

LOIS: You'll be sitting here. Hope you can type, Smallville.

She points at the desk and, for a moment, we can see the Kryptonian bracelet Clark gave her peeking out from under her shirt sleeve.

CLARK (softly): Chloe...

She shoots him a HARD look, then a very slight head shake. In her eyes, we can tell that she does know him, that she IS Chloe. Clark sets his briefcase on the desk, his eyes locked on her. (MUSICAL NOTE: The drums leading to the oh-so-familar John Williams theme begin.) He's clearly on the the verge of asking something but Perry sticks his head out of the door first.

PERRY: Lane! There's a hold up at the bank on Siegel and Shuster! Get over there and cover it! And take Kent!

Lois gives Clark a look, a...knowing look that he recognizes immediately; she gestures ever so slightly with her head - it's a "go" signal. His grin reappears. She glances away, her own lips twitching into a grin, looks at Perry's retreating back.

LOIS: On it, Chief.

There is a WHOOSH as her eyes are momentarily off of Clark. Not surprisingly, he's gone when she glances back. She fights a smile.

LOIS (softly, to herself): Just like old times. (beat, shouting): Olsen! Get your camera!

She heads for the door.

INT. DAILY PLANET - STAIRS TO ROOFTOP

Moving faster than a speeding bullet, Clark runs up the stairs. As the music swells to the Superman theme, he pulls open his shirt, revealing the shield we've all been waiting for. The door flies open and we

FADE TO WHITE.

CREDITS.

More Smallville...or What I would Do, Part 6

2005-05-17T04:30:00.000-07:00

Nearing the end...

Episode 518: Title TBD
Plot: A LuthorCorp employee from Smallville is killed and the Chlark investigate; they learn that a meteor freak killed him and, upon tracking the responsible party down, recognize him as one of the gang members encountered in episode 502. Said freak escapes the initial encounter in some suitably absurd manner that probably involves putting someone other than Clark in danger.

Research reveals that several of the gangmembers were released at the behest of LuthorCorp. (3) When Clark speaks to Lex about this matter, Luthor claims to not know anything about and casts suspicion upon his father. Chloe realizes almost from the beginning that Lex is flat out lying and this leads to a disagreement between her & Clark. Continued pursuit of the FotW reveals to Clark that Lex DID lie to him and did not destroy the lab equipment from episode 502. He appears to be using this FotW to track down the dwindling supply of meteor rocks in the Smallville area. (1) Jon and Martha make up. (2) Lois speaks with Chloe & Lana about Clark recent weird behavior and absences; the two cover for him but Ms Lane doesn't seem to buy the whole thing.

Episode ends with Clark telling Chloe about what he has found regarding Lex's duplicity. He intends to find the Truth...

Episode 519: Title TBD
Plot: A meteor freak from a previous episode returns; exact identity TBD. FotW guns for someone other than Chloe - Lois would be a good target and Clark must jump in again. (1) Jon lashes out verbally at his son, unable to hide his frustration at not being able to do what he used to be able to do. Martha, as usual, is the mediator. (3) Lex learns of multiple security breaches at his Smallville and Metropolis plants; someone is breaking in and finding out things they shouldn't. Suspecting his father, he begins snooping and learns that Lionel has been meeting with Lex's personal assistant on a semi-regular basis. He makes some calls...

(5) Lana breaks things off with Lex when she (once again) sees his dark side. He has too many secrets for her. Lex calls her on hypocrisy when he reveals that he knows she's hiding something about Clark. In the course of this argument, Lex clearly scares her.

Episode ends with Lionel dying. The exact manner is still TBD and could work equally well if he's poisoned or if there appears to be a tragic car crash.

Episode 520: Title TBD
Plot: (3) Begins with Lex attending his father's funeral; he and Clark speak but it is more a reporter interviewing the head of LuthorCorp than two friends speaking. (2) Lana speaks with Chloe about Clark's apparent growing obsession with LuthorCorp. (5) She also openly wonders if Lex had anything to do with Lionel's death; the coroner's report isn't clear...

(3) Clark discovers a new version of Room 33.1 (the old one having been FUBARed in the two -parter with patient 5209) and learns of Lex's continued obsession with the meteor rocks. (4) While in the loft, Chloe discovers the Kryptonian bracelet and asks about it, recognizing it as something Kyra wore. Clark hesitates, then puts it on her and explains its significance.

Episode 521: Title TBD
Plot: The Chlark authors a piece in the Ledger that blows open some of the darker dealings at LuthorCorp. (3) Lex blows up at his 'friend' who refuses to back down; Clark suggests that Lex look to fixing the problems instead of getting angry. Lex demands to know how Clark got some of the information but Kent's not telling. (5) Lana in Wichita, apologizing to Pete for not having listened to him about Lex in the first place.

Episode 522: Title TBD
Plot: (4) Troupe is very impressed by the Chlark's recent work and agrees to fund additional investigations into LuthorCorp; he intimates that the Daily Planet has been interested in their work as well. (2) Lana notices Chloe wearing the Kryptonian bracelet. Late in the episode, Chloe sees Clark & Lana being very friendly and is a little bit suspicious when Clark lies about meeting Ms. Lang. (3) Lex accelerates some of his experiments with the meteor rocks and informs the doctor that they may be forced to relocate very soon. The experiments result in a FotW who has very subtle abilities.

Episode 523: Title TBD
Plot: (4) In Metropolis on assignment, Clark proposes to Chloe; he reveals that Lana was giving him some advice the previous day and Ms. Sullivan happily accepts.

The A Plot involves the Chlark trying to get one of LuthorCorp's scientist to someplace safe so he can tell them what he knows. On the run, he has someone after him, someone who appears to be trying to kill him. Three-quarters of the way into the episode, he should be shot and, with his dying breath, reveal the location of the new Evil Lab. The Chlark prepare to investigate when...

(1) Jon Kent has another heart attack, this one more severe than the previous and is rushed to the hospital; doctors give him very little chance of surviving the night. Clark receives the news and Chloe promises not to hit the Evil Lab without him; he blurs off and she calls Lois. (3) Lex arranges to meet with Gen. Lane at the Metropolis LuthorCorp building.

Episode ends with Chloe & Lois in the car outside the Evil Lab; Lois tries on the Kryptonian bracelet and complains that it pinched her. Chloe reclaims it from her and they enter the Lab...

Series finale is next...

More Smallville...or What I would Do, Part 5

2005-05-16T11:00:00.000-07:00

We're hitting the home stretch now. I think there are two more parts to my dream season and then I can get on with griping about something else...

Episode 514: Title TBD
Plot: The A plot is a standard Fotw Running amok with Clark having to lay the smack down on it. The B plot involves special agent John Jones of the FBI arriving in the Smallville area to investigate some of the goings-ons at the LuthorCorp plant. (If you don't know who he is, you're not as big of a geek as I am.) Initially, I forsee him as appearing like a Fox Mulder type of agent, perhaps even going so far as to assigning him a partner who is coldly analytical. At some point in the episode, Clark needs to save Jones' life (from the FotW and fire, if possible) which immediately attracts Jones' attention.

(1) Jon speaks to the doctor he has been seeing who tells him point-blank "Six months, maybe a year." Research must be done by writer(s) to make sure that the reasoning behind this is sound. (5) In thanks for her attending to him in the previous episode, Lex takes Lana out to dinner. During this, he casually sways the conversation toward Clark & his secrets but just as quickly shifts to other topics when Lana becomes uncomfortable.

(4) The Chlark are a couple and Chloe is spazzing out about an upcoming date (which isn't shown due to the before-mentioned FotW.) This scene should be played for laughs as Chloe starts to get a little ballistic when trying to figure out what to wear and the like. Lois guests.

Might be a good idea to intercut Clark fighting the FotW and saving a couple of lives with Chloe waiting for him at the date location. Then, at the end of the episode, as she is heading home, he arrives. His clothes are torn, he's dirty, and she knows at once that he was fighting the good fight. He apologizes for being late and promises to make it up to her...

Episode 515: Title TBD
Plot: A Plot consists of a standard FotW. Hidden within the episode, SA Jones begins discretely following Clark, studying him and observing his heroic streak. At no time should we get any indication that he is more than just an FBI agent. (4) The Chlark get ridiculously cute while around Lois (who is appropriately disgusted.) (1) Jon & Martha visit a lawyer to get things in order. (5) Lex charms Lana a bit more but, once she has moved out of the shot/scene, abruptly slides back into all business.

Episode 516: Title TBD
Plot: A Plot involves Clark trying to deal with Jor-El who has been, until this moment, fairly quiet. (4) Clark finds the Kryptonian bracelet thing (from way back in Skinwalker) and contemplates giving it to Chloe; Martha finds him ruminating over it and the two bond. (1) Jon visits Martha's father and attempts to reconcile with him; all he wants to do is make sure that Martha will be okay after he passes. (2) Lana and Lois meet with Pete and plan Chloe's birthday party. (3) Lex visits Clark for the first time in a couple of months and walks in on the Chlark. Birthday party.

Clark gets an email from Bart and learns his fast friend has gone back to school; Chloe should snark about him becoming a cop or something. (5) Pete learns of the Lexana and tries to warn Ms Lang not to trust Lex; she thinks he simply has misplaced anger at Luthor involving the Ross company business.

And SA Jones continues to observe...

Episode 517: Title TBD
Plot: Continues the Jor-El plot begun in the previous episode; by the end of this one, Clark should have defeated the JE program - it now acknowledges him as the guy in charge. (4) Gabe Sullivan guests as Clark picks up Chloe; it's clear that Mr Sullivan is good with the two finally dating. (2) Lana finds Clark in his loft with the Kryptonian bracelet and learns just how devoted he is to Chloe. (1) Martha tries too hard around Jon, which triggers a marital spat between the two. (5) Lana sees Lex domonstrate his darker side while conducting business; Lionel warns her that his son is just like him...

The resolution of the SA Jones subplot occurs in this episode. I'm still sketchy on exactly what I'd like to see. I had thought briefly of having Jones pull Clark out of somplace filled with Kryptonite and the two talk about being the last survivors of their kind but that just doesn't flow really well and also doesn't seem to fit the Smallville motif. Another option, the one I'm leaning toward now, would have Jones speaking to either his partner or his boss and indicating that there is nothing unusual about Clark Kent after all aside from his monumental luck and that he is NOT the metahuman who was robbing banks in Metropolis a couple of years ago. In this way, we could intimate that the government has learned some troubling things about the goings on in Smallville and dispatched him to investigate.

Despite this, I've always wanted to see an exchange between the two that went something like this:

------------
CLARK looks at JONES. His POV: X-ray vision reveals SA Jones is clearly not human. Exactly what he is unknown.

CLARK: You're not from around here, are you, Special Agent Jones?

Jones looks at Clark. His face is impassive and tinted by a subtle shape of green.

JONES: No, Mr. Kent, I'm not. Nor, I think, are you.

They share a LONG BEAT studying one another. Jones gives a stiff smile.

JONES: Your secret is safe with me, Mr. Kent.

Clark grins, offers his hand.

CLARK: I was going to say the same to you.

They shake...
----

More to come...

More Smallville...or What I would Do, Part 4

2005-05-15T14:30:00.000-07:00

Well, it's fairly clear that I have way too much time on my hands since I've done all of this. And there's more...

Episode 511: Title TBD
Plot: A plot involves a standard FotW; perhaps one of Lana's billions of stalkers from earlier episodes back for more? With Chloe in Metropolis, Clark gets to take care of it all by himself...well, with a spot of aid from Lana (who is trying to get Clark to admit how hung up he is on Chloe.) (4) Chloe & Lois in Metropolis; Sullivan there on assignment for the Ledger & Lois is urging her cousin to be proactive with Clark since he's clearly a Big Dumb Farmboy. Reveal that the two have been dancing around each other for 3 months now.

(1) & (3) Jon again visits Lex's medical specialists and grudgingly thanks Lex for his aid. Luthor plays it off as nothing, merely looking out for a friend's father, and offers whatever assistance he can provide. As soon as Jon has left, Lex speaks with the doctors alone and orders them to let him know the results first.

Back in SV, Clark does some investigation without Chloe present and Lana is surprised at just how much he has learned from Ms. Sullivan in this department. She is also surprise (and a little amused) to learn that Clark knows most of Chloe's computer passwords thought the BDA doesn't see what the big deal is. Big fight with the FotW.

Episode 512: Suggest
Note: This two-part episode is based on the fanfic called Twilight so obviously the original author would need to given story credits and paid copious amounts of money for its usage. However, since Twilight (a sequel to the equally good Shhh) picks up immediately after Alicia reveals some of Clark's abilties to Chloe, some adjustments have to be made. I'm only inserting the changes being made to fit into my season so go and read the fanfics (which freaking rock, btw - I would buy books by this author) to get the full picture.

Teaser: Lex Luthor storms into his Metropolis office, flanked by a half-dozen bodyguards. He is met by a lab coated doctor who informs him that one of the "special projects" has escaped. They arrive @ 33.1 and Lex sees...carnage.

Act One: Clark is studying in library at Central Kansas when Chloe & Lana join him; he & Lana speak like old friends but the banter between him & Ms Sullivan is more...flirty. Lana asks about Chloe's dad and they learn how much trouble he's been having getting a new job; she rarely sees him, he's doing so many shifts. She heads out for class, unaware of Clark's eyes on her. Lana notices and tells him to get off his duff and ask her out; he insists they're just friends but nobody's buying it. Scene Change: Jon is back at the doctor for more tests; it's clear he hates this and snaps at the doctor. Scene Change: Luthor is briefed about the escape of patient 5209 and we learn that 49 have died. Lex's reaction to the cover up being established should clue anyone in that he's really not a nice dude. He learns that 5209's abilities have changed and orders his security guys to find him. Now.

Act Two: Back in SV, Chloe is in the FoS with Clark. Reveal that she does dinner here a lot at Martha's insistence. Falling star scene from fanfic. She tries to distract him from his sadness by discussing class - reveal that they have all the same classes but one. Buoyed a bit, she departs, promising to see him tomorrow; he watches her leave. Scene Change: Two of Lex's security guys speak with a woman in a ratty hotel someplace in Metropolis; the woman is clearly jonesing for a cigarette but mentions how "he" doesn't like cigarette smoke. The two move off to investigate a room. Scene Change: Chloe (at home) making a silent wish on a falling star and she has a small delighted smile when she hears a knock on the door. She's clearly hoping it is Clark when she opens the door: it's Lionel Luthor.

Act Three: Chloe freaks just a bit and shuts the door. Consult fanfic for interaction here with intimation that Lex is responsible for her dad's work problems. It should be clear that Lionel TERRIFIES her (perhaps with some flashbacks to MB stuff?) When he leaves, she picks up the phone but can't dial. It rings, scares the crap out of her; Clark, asking about assignment. She starts to break down and we can hear Clark through the phone, telling her he'll be right there. Which he is. (Hold on, Chloe! I'll be right there. Knock Knock. Chloe? It's me!) She tells him nothing, just breaks down a bit before drifting off to sleep with him there, holding her. As she sleeps, he whispers There's something I want to tell you... Scene Change: Early a.m., Lex studies photos of his dad @ Chloe's place is troubled. Gen. Lane enters - they have a meeting scheduled - and offers condolences on the cafeteria fire that claimed 49 lives. Meeting re: the plant. Scene Change: Clark wakes up & Chloe is chipper (though its forced.) ("Want to tell me what that was all about last night, Chlo?" "Want to tell me how you got here so fast?" "Uhh..." "It's okay, Clark. You should worry what you're going to tell your Mom about where you were last night." D'oh! expression. Scene Change: A second group of Luthor security guys enter the ratty motel room and react; audience doesn't see anything yet...

Act Four: At the Kent farm, Martha is on the phone, clearly amused as he stammers out where he was. Her eyes are on Jon though and the concern is in her face as he goes about his morning routine, so much slower than normal. Scene Change: Lex interacts with his dad. Lex's personal assistant enters: they've found something. Scene Change: Clark, Chloe & Lana at Talon (?) when Gabe Sullivan enters (remember him?) He's got a new job...Scene Change: That ratty motel again. Lex enters with guards, visits room and sees the first two security guys dead. Written on the wall is a name...

Act Five: The Chlark @ Central Kansas, arrange to meet at library to go over piece for Ledger. Someone follows Chloe as camera follows Clark. Lana falls in with Clark and harasses him (as a friend) about staying over at Chloe's all night; she'll get the truth from Chloe in their next class...Scene Change: Chloe @ Luthor mansion, really honked off at being abducted. She asks about the "blacklist"; intimate that he Lex MAY have something to do with it. Clark calls her...again and Lex comments about their relationship. Hint that Lex may be jealous of Chloe? A disturbance occurs. Scene Change: Clark is getting a little concerned at her absence. Calls, leaves a message, then talks to Lana. She hasn't seen her all day. Scene Change: Our boy 5209 shows up and Chloe knows him...

Episode 513: Fall
Note: Read Twilight to get a clearer picture...

Teaser: Recap. 5209 arrives in the mansion and is intimidating. He plans to show Chloe the bad stuff that he's been through...

Act One: Clark in Central K on phone, still looking for Chloe. Lana is helping out as his concern is contagious. Clark reveals that Chloe was torn up by something last night and fears it involves this. Joint realization that she may be at Lex's mansion; Lana will follow and Clark blurs out. Scene Change: 5209 nearly pushes Chloe to whack Lex but circumstances intervene others. Inference that STAR Labs is keeping an eye on Lex. This a heavy exposition scene. Scene Change: Clark arrives at mansion, uses x-ray vision, then heads in. He opens the door, recognizes 5209 & is put to sleep.

Act Two: Clark wakes up to Lana shaking him; time has passed (a couple of hours) and she can't wake anyone up! Interact with Lex's personal assistant - the exact method will have to be revised from the fanfic but exactly how is TBD. Scene Change: Chloe waking up in Metropolis with 5209; she will soon see the truth. Scene Change: Clark & Lana are somewhat filled in by now and Kent leaves after telling Lana to see to Lex. Scene Change: 5209 pulls up in front of the LuthorCorp building. They're here.

Act Three: 5209 takes care of the guards. Scene Change: Clark on the road, running really freaking fast. He does a super jump at least once, keeps running. Scene Change: Lionel walks in on Lana who is trying to help out the unconscious. He's a little surprised and more than a little creepy. Scene Change: 2 doctors in 33.1 working to neutralize 5209's abilities; 5209 & Chloe enter and the doctors are dealt with. 5209 forces Chloe to help him destroy research to keep himself safe. They head for the elevator. Scene Change: Clark arrives at LuthorCorp building & x-rays it, finding 5209 & Chloe on roof. He heads in...very fast. Scene Change: 5209 orders Chloe to jump. She does so as Clark appears through the door.

Act Four: Clark hits the roof, neutralizes 5209 and goes after Chloe. Flashbacks aplenty here: (a) floating over Lana dream; (b) Chloe under influence asking if Clark will catch her if she falls; (c) with Kara as they float up; (d) taking off as Kal-El. Clark saves her and they have a moment. The BDA realizes she already knows and he runs off with her. Camera goes UP as helicopter arrives; 5209 realizes he is neutralized. Scene Change: At Chloe's apartment, the Talk. Snark ("Two nights in a row? People will talk." "Let them...") The Chlark become an official couple (and there was much rejoicing...)

Act Five: Clark @ home facing the Tribunal of Parentage. They're concerned @ Chloe knowing The Secret and are pretty surprised that she already knew most of it and said nothing. Clark is adamant that he can trust her with his life and the Kents (being pretty sharp) are easily able to see that he's head-over-heels for Chloe. He leaves, meets Chloe. Scene Change: At the Talon, the Chlark enter as a couple and speak with Lex & Lana. 5209 is neutralized and being sent home, according to Lex. Chloe tells Lex that 5209 let her go outside the LuthorCorp building. He exits. Lana is deliriously happy for the two and insists they tell her what happened. Scene Change: Back @ Lex's office, we learn how much of what Lex said was true. He then reviews the rooftop footage in which Chloe clearly leaps over and the blur that is Clark goes after her; from his P.A., we learn that even at its slowest, the camera is unable to identify the blur as more than a blur. Lex has some suspicions...Scene Change: The final fate of 5209 is revealed.

And now, we're hitting our stride. More to come...

More Smallville...or What I would Do, Part 3

2005-05-14T08:30:00.000-07:00

Don't you just hate it when you wake a whole lot earlier than you wanted to on a weekend because the damned dogs next door woke you up and you can't get back to sleep? Gah!

Episode 507: Lost
Plot: (1) Episode begins with Clark rushing through the sliding doors of the hospital carrying his dad who has just suffered a massive heart attack. Everyone's favorite BDA is forced to deal with the actual realization that his dad WILL die at some point and that point is rapidly nearing.

The primary plot of this episode should have the central characters all coping with loss. (4) Knowing his moods better than anyone except perhaps his parents, Chloe will comfort Clark (in a non-sexual way) in this blackest of hours. (2) Returning from a visit to Metropolis, Lana will find them together in the loft - exactly what is going on is TBD but could range from her holding him while he cries to finding them asleep on the couch to Chloe just there, holding Clark's hand while he talks about his dad. Contrary to what the character would normally do in the previous seasons, she doesn't freak out - one thing that might work here is if the camera tilts in behind her head to witness the scene, then focuses on her face which shows that she understands what's going on.

Later in the episode, she should have a heart-to-heart discusion with Chloe, revealing that she saw the above scene. Now Chloe, having had to deal with psycho-Lana in previous episodes immediately starts defending herself, pointing out that she was just there as a friend. Something in her voice or her face or just the way she says should clue in Lana that Chloe still has strong feelings for Clark but that she is setting them aside to just be his friend.

(2) Rough idea for final scene of ep:

INT. BARN - CLARK'S LOFT

CLARK (softly): It's not going to work out for us, is it?

LANA (sad smile, NO tears): No, I don't think so. (beat) I love you but...

CLARK (with same smile): You're not in love with me. (beat) It's the same for me...

They look at each other, look away. Both are uncomfortable yet, in a strange way, relieved.

CLARK: What now?

Lana hesitates, then pulls the ring free.

LANA: I give this back.

Clark looks thoughtfully at the ring as she sets sets it in his hand. She smiles at his expression.

LANA: Besides, I think it's really meant for someone else.

He looks at her, completely oblivious. She giggles.

CLARK (softly): Are we still friends?

LANA (with a beautfiful smile as she hugs him): Always, Clark. Always.

From their embrace, we FADE TO BLACK.

Episode 508: Title TBD
Plot: A plot involves Chloe & Clark investigating a possible Intergang connection to a recent murder in SV.

Guest-starring Pete Ross. (2) In Wichita, Lana talks to Pete about deciding to split up with a Clark a few weeks ago. Since both are in on The Secret, they discuss him and she wonders if Chloe is in on the loop - Pete reveals that Clark thinks she (Chloe) suspects something but not the truth. It should be clear to the audience that Pete really likes Lana, even if she doesn't see it...

(3) More niftiness from Lex & his dad, including hints that our boy Lionel is complete scum again.

(1) Jon gets himself released from the hospital and is more than a little frustrated at his continued weakness. (4) Chloe is unsure what to do around Clark now; he & Lana just broke up a couple of weeks ago and, instead of the usual moping he does, he appears...happy? When he flirts with her (while they're alone), she snarks about there being some red meteor rocks around (which causes him a spot of concern that She Knows). It might also serve to have her point out the last time he did this sort of thing (in Transference) and FINALLY learn that Lionel had pulled a body switch on him. She complains to Lois that she doesn't have a clue what to do but Lane just ignores her.

Episode 509: Title TBD
Plot: A Plot continues the above-mentioned Intergang plot.

(4) Chloe & Clark start to get closer in the wake of his father's rapid decline; she's the only one who seems to really understand his moods. He also reveals how much he has grown to love being a journalist and how it's all thanks to her.

Lois worries that Chloe might just be the "rebound girl" and warns her cousing to be careful. (1) Jon & Clark have an argument when the younger Kent refuses to let his dad do certain chores; Martha is forced to intervene. (3) Lex visits the Kent farm to talk to Clark about the break-up with Lana and, as a result of Clark's concerns with his father, offers to provide some medical specialists. Jon declines but Martha & Clark convince him otherwise.

(5) At some point in the episode, Lex visits Lana to find out how she's doing following the break-up and activates his smooth operator motif on her.

Episode 10: Title TBD
Plot: (4) Chloe & Clark continue their dance around one another, both hinting at a mutual interest but both seemingly afraid to take the first step. Resolve the Intergang A Plot during this episode. Clark accidentally refers to the meteor rocks as kryptonite during the episode, a fact that Chloe notes but does not mention.

(2) Lana and Lois have a conversation in which they agree to cooperate; both are clearly tired of the Chlark dance and have decided to join forces to push them together. (1) Martha has a long heart-to-heart with Jon regarding his condition; as realists, neither think he has that much longer to live. (3) More Luthor goodness with Lionel calling Lex on providing medical specialists for Kent and Lex indicating that he did it pretty much to keep an eye on Clark.

Episode ends with Chloe at her computer online, seeking definitions of "cryptonite", "kryptonite", "criptonite", "kriptonite", etc. Naturally, none of them come up with anything...

More later...

More Smallville...or What I would Do, Part 2

2005-05-13T23:30:00.000-07:00

Here's the next installment; yeah, I'm a super geek...

Episode 503: Ice
Plot: As a result of the kryptonite exposure in the previous episode, Clark gets his first ever cold and, understandably, freaks out just a little bit. The end result of this is that he develops the ice breath super ability and spends the rest of the episode learning how to control it while simultaneously covering his ass for the sudden weirdness that is constantly happening around him.

Chloe & Lois (who is guesting in this episode) investigate the rash of frozen stuff throughout Smallville (this is significantly more effective if the episode is set during Summer) with the expectation that a Freak of the Week (FotW) is involved; Lois should get some actual character development and demonstrate an interest in journalism, clearly inspired by her younger cousin. (3) Lex continues to have his people working on kryptonite stuff and may learn that the FotW from the previous episode is still on the loose; he pays a vist to the Kent farm to speak with Clark but some sort of confrontation should occur between him & Jon. (1) As Lex leaves, Jon rubs his chest, quickly glancing around to make sure no one else noticed. (5) Lex interacts with Lana with hints of his continued interest in her. He also gets a new Personal Assistant who will, for much of the season, remain in the background and acting pretty much like a secretary.

While speaking to Chloe and Lois, Clark should slip up and comment about visiting Pete in Wichita over the weekend; Lois calls him on this, asking how he got there since none of the trucks were gone. (4) Chloe covers for him by mentioning a phone conversation with Pete the week previous, thus intimating that Clark was picked up by Mr. Ross. Again, the BDA is left wondering what she knows...

This episode would be played mostly for chuckles as Clark desperately tries to master this new ability while covering his ass and preventing everyone from finding out it is he who is responsible; at the same time, Chloe should probably figure out that it is him and not the FotW and begin acting accordingly.

The FotW in this episode should be the one from the previous episode.

Episode 504: Title TBD
Plot: (2) Clana fans rejoice. Clark proposes to Lana but, before she can accept, reveals his abilities and origin to her. She spends the rest of the episode coming to terms with it and deciding what to do. (4) Chloe does some legwork for the Ledger and learns of something illegal (exactly what is TBD.) She calls in Clark to help her out and offers to share a bylie with him for the story; it should be clear that she is trying to get him to get out of this rut that he's in and commit to journalism.

(1) Martha finds Jon at the graveyard, visiting the graves of his parents. He should reveal that he's a little scared in the most manly way possible. If possible, squeeze in a (3) Lex visit to the Metropolis lab (33.1) in which he learns of some of the advancements being made.

Episode ends with Lana accepting Clark's proposal.

Episode 505: Title TBD
Plot: (4) Chloe urges Clark to officially join the Ledger. (2) Cutesy Clana stuff (written for people above the age of 12, please); perhaps Clark asks Lana what she thinks of Chloe's suggestion about joining the Ledger and repeats Ms Sullivan's sound reasoning. (1) Martha continues to pressure Jon to visit the doctor but, like most men (myself included), he puts it off.

Upon Chloe's suggestion, Clark finally goes to Ron Troupe who, already impressed by Clark's work at the Torch, offers him the same freelance job he gave to Chloe. (3) Lex learns that his father is STILL obsessed with the caves and begins devoting some time toward learning why. (5) Lex finds out about the Clana engagement some time (couple of weeks? a month?) after the fact and is at least a little upset that no one thought to tell him.

Episode 506: Title TBD
Plot: (2) Clark and Lana have some problems - exactly what are TBD but they should be the sorts of things real couples have to deal with. Guest-starring Pete Ross as Clark visits him in Wichita to complain. At the same time, Lana bonds with Lois while visiting her aunt in Metropolis. Lois should openly wonder if Lana is really in love with Clark or if he's just the "safe" choice. She should complete her observation by pointing out that she really isn't the most unbiased since her baby cousin has been pining over Clark since 8th grade.

(4) The Chlark join forces to defeat a meteor freak teacher at Central Kansas who is using his brain-leeching abilities to kill students. (Perhaps this FotW is becoming smarter with each brain (s)he sucks dry?) Clark, being Clark, tries to use the frontal assault method and should be zotted. Hard. Which then forces Chloe to be the one who actually saves the day. Immediately following the fight, Clark looks up at Chloe from where he is sprawled out and has a flashback to her reading a letter to him while he was in a "Fever" (ep216). He shakes it off but is clearly a little affected by it. He does something that causes her to remember it as well.

(1) The episode ends with Martha discovering Jon on the floor, suffering a massive heart attack.

More later...

More Smallville...or What I would Do, Part 1

2005-05-13T15:24:00.000-07:00

It occurred to me that I should, instead of just griping about the inconsistency of the show and its apparent lack of direction, I should post what I believe to be constructive solutions. Therefore, without further grumbles about how much I hate the Lana Lang character, I present the first part of My Season Five.

Right off the bat, we establish that this is the LAST season. It ends here (and the way ratings have been the last couple of seasons, that's not much of a stretch.) Keep in mind that much of the following is loose stuff, sort of the B Plots that stretch through the entire season. Obviously, since I have a job other than television writer, I haven't sat down and written an entire season. I'm not even sure if I'm capable of that since I'm a better plotter than actual writer.

There will be 5 character arcs throughout the season. They are:

(1) The decline of Jonathan Kent. This culiminates in his death in episode 524.

(2) The Clana. Clark & Lana realize that they really aren't meant for each other.

(3) The Clex. Lex's slide to darkness accelerates and the friendship he had with Clark is utterly destroyed.

(4) The Chlark. Clark and Chloe finally become a couple. (Hey, I'm writing this and AM's character has been getting the shaft the entire series. Time to change that!)

(5) The Lexana. In the wake of the end of Clana, Lex makes his move on Lana and she is dazzled by his charm. Too late, she will realize that he is just using her to get information on Clark...

Episode 501 is the most difficult to plot out because I don't know what will happen in the 4th season finale yet. As is the tendency of network TV, however, it will culiminate in the status quo being reached once more. Clark & Lana are "together", Clark & Lex have a strained relationship, etc. I don't know if they will kill Lionel in Commencement; I hope not because he will play an important role in this season. I also don't know if anyone else will learn Clark's secret; I'm assuming not since TPTB really like to keep Lana in the dark. Whether Chloe learns of his extraterrestrial origins is, at this point, irrelevant.

Instead of attending Met U, Chloe will be forced to go to Central Kansas just like Clark. It appears her scholarship was revoked for mysterious reasons - this is a hint that the Evil Lionel may be back and is a way to keep her near the central characters.

All three of the college-age characters (Clark, Chloe, Lana) will be forced to get jobs to help pay for their tuition. It's already been established that the Kent family is not exactly wealthy and, I'm sorry, but there is next to no way Clark is eligible for tuition assistance (both parents working, they own a lot of land, etc.) With Chloe's experience, it's only logical that she will go for a job at the Smallville Ledger, the local paper.

And since much of the episode will be dealing with the ramifications of season 4's finale, that's about all we need to do with this episode. I'll clean this up after I've sat through Commencement.

502: Title TBD

Plot: (If meteor strike seen in previews for s4 finale are accurate) Ledger begins interviews of various members of SV community for a retrospective into the meteor strike. Clark begins considering proposing to Lana and actually consults Chloe about it - she should give him GOOD advice and has clearly moved on by this point (still has feelings for him but is content to remain friends - this much has been established in the recent episodes of season 4). Chloe begins investigating a drug ring out of SV that uses Kryptonite to refine the drug; Clark helps her out and, during their snarky banter, (4) she drops hints that she Knows The Secret by making a comment about never betraying a friend, regardless of what his secret involved. Clark, being a big dumb alien (aka BDA), hems and haws but refuses to admit that he comprehends her hints. Later, he speaks to his parents about her and they are suitably concerned that she may K.T.S.; (1) While giving Clark some sage advice about dealing with Chloe, Jon Kent demonstrates a 'pain" in his left arm but explains it away as a farm injury. Chloe and Lana speak about the BDA and Lana admits that she doesn't know Clark half as well as she would like; Chloe comments that he is a really private person and that he is just preoccupied about something; (2) it bothers Lana that she is unable to read his moods as well as Chloe and actually mentions this. This leads to an embarassing lull in the conversation as Lana realizes that Chloe may still have feelings for Clark. During the course of the investigation, Clark realizes they are using kryptonite for the drugs when he gets too close to some examples. The leaders of the drug gang (Freak of the Week - powers/abilities to be determined) is an ex-LuthorCorp employee who was let go for various reasons; in the climax of the episode, there is a big explosion and hints that Clark is exposed to the kryptonite dust (i.e. sneezing and looking surprised that he has done so - perhaps have Chloe snark about it just being a sneeze with the subtext in his face that he's never done it before). The sneezing is important, as you will see in the next episode. The ex-LuthorCorp employee escapes and Lex takes the equipment, promising to have it destroyed. (3) Which he doesn't.

I'll post more soon...

Smallville or WTF happened to this show?

2005-05-12T16:00:00.000-07:00

I want to like Smallville, I really do. It has so much potential, potential to be really good...but it isn't. I know it shows just how much of a geek/loser I am that I've so worked up over this (and trust me, all of my friends are probably sick to death of hearing this) but I don't give a damn.

Put simply: Smallville, in its current form, sucks.

Not always, mind you. There are bright spots: Allison Mack as Chloe, the Luthor family dynamic, Allison Mack as Chloe, the great Kent parents, Allison Ma...ahem...

What should have been an awesome reimagining of Superboy, the Last Son of Krypton, the Boy of Steel who will go on to become the greatest Hero of all time, has gone horribly, tragically wrong.

That isn't to say that I dislike the principal actor or anything. Tom Welling looks the part physically (although he is about 10 years older than the character he plays...stupid TV) and, when he gets good stuff, he's a fairly decent actor. Plus, I would have never thought of their initial approach with young Kal-El an angsty teen 'cause he thinks he's a freak but it works out.

Plus, the incorporation (or is that re-incorporation) of Lex Luthor into a young Clark Kent's life has worked out pretty well. Michael Rosenbaum is a damned good Luthor, much better than Hackman in the old Superman movies, and John Glover totally freaking rocks as Lex's dad, the Magnificent Bastard...um...Lionel.

And what can be said about the hotness that is Allison Mack? Mmmmm...

Which brings me to the character of Lana Lang.

As a caveat, I'm sure that Kristin Kreuk is a fine actress (though I've not seen it) and I suppose some might find her moderately attractive, but I simply HATE her character. She was tolerable in season 1, less so in 2 and 3, and has rapidly entered an annoyance zone that I generally reserve for Ewoks, Pokemon, and Live Action Roleplayers in a Vampire: The Masquerade game. Aside from being Kent's idealized girl, I can't find a reason for her on the show!

The meat of my complaints regarding her? First and foremost, her character has not changed at all in the slightest since season 1. Sure, there have been some cosmetic alterations - she no longer wears just pink and became an Instant Ninja (tm) in one episode - but she remains a flat character, whining so much about secrets and lies that I'm ready to vomit. I have literally changed the channel during episodes when she came on screen and the scene in question revolved entirely around her. Don't get me started on the witch thing. WTF is that? I mean, aside from a reason to keep her nominally important.

I like to think of myself as something of a writer. A disillusioned one, yes, but someone who understands the specifics of the writing process and how to tell a story. There must be change for a story to be effective; that's probably why so much Star Trek sucks 'cause nothing ever changes but that's a rant for another time.

And it's not just me. I spend a lot of time lurking on the Kryptonsite forums and the majority opinion (of people who can at least type like they've moved beyond 8th grade) is that Lana sucks. I don't know a single person who actually watches the show that likes her - off the top of my head, I know of 10 or more people, half of which I've never actually met that are friends of friends currently stationed in Japan.

Lana's lucky I'm not in old Kal-El's shoes. I'd have fried her with the heat vision, blamed the latest freak of the week, and the hooked up with the smoking hot best friend (who actually has curves in the right places and isn't a stick). Mmmmm, Chloevage...

But that's just me...

First Post

2005-05-12T15:05:00.000-07:00

Well since everyone and their mother appear to have a blog, I figured I would go ahead and get one. I've always found it easier to express myself in words than verbally, so hopefully this will work out. If nothing else, it will give me a place to vent. And I am good at that.

Right, me. My online identity is Rigil Kent. The reasons are varied; my actual last name originates from Kent, England and Rigil Kentaurus is Alpha Centauri (I think). Plus, I think it's a really cool name.

About Me: I'm 30+ (on the lowside), still single (unfortunately), and pretty much a geek. I play RPGs (online & tabletop) 'cause they're fun, love sci-fi and fantasy, and am completely convinced most of the people in charge of Network TV are fraking stupid. My favorite sport is Football - American-style, not that crap I call soccer; I really dig ice hockey too. I'm a Star Wars fan from way back, a comic fan for a long time, a disillusioned writer, and an ex-infantryman. I'm about a semester shy of my Associates in History but just can't seem to work up the motivation to finish it up; the classes needed just don't interest me at all. Politically, I lean Hard Right. I'm not religious but am not anti-religion. I work behind a computer all day long.

Right. That should cover it for now. I'm not going to lie and say that I'll be updating this every day, just when I want to vent or make snide comments about stupid people (like Democrats) or really crappy stuff I've seen (wait 'till I start bitching about Smallville...)

So...frak you.